Relative (III) (2022) User Reviews

Haunting story of familial trauma

[moviemom23 · 8/10 · 25 April 2024]

So hard to watch this family! The images and film over decades juxtaposed with a story being pieced together is powerful. It does move a bit too slowly and I pined for more details but I guess that was the point- no one wants to talk about the abuse that continued across generations relentlessly in this family.

Most striking to me was the reluctance of the mother and grandmother to admit what they had experienced. It was heartbreaking to watch the daughter struggle to communicate with these women! To think they couldn't- or wouldn't- protect their own children over protecting "the family"- its horrible.

There is indeed something sick and dark running through the genes of this family tree. Very difficult to watch the old films showing how grabby and abusive many of the men are- and they seem so proud of it. Chilling.

A hard watch but very interesting.

Brave, Loving, Needed

[fjcutshaw · 9/10 · 4 May 2024]

The film Relative is stunning and infused with a sense of intimacy while also being brave and boundaried. I felt such emotions for Tracey's family and appreciation for her work. I do a lot of work with religious trauma and the framework for secrecy feels very similar. People we love and trust and want to honor are often the hardest to confront with health in order to have needed conversations. I was awestruck by the vision and embodiment implied gently through bold and challenging conversations. A sense of honor wells up within the film and dispels secrecy in such a way that anyone can be inspired to move in new patterns with their own family.

What doesn't kill you apparently just needs to be forgotten

[brandib-47535 · 10/10 · 14 April 2024]

So much left unsaid in this attempt to bring generations of abuse and trauma into the light. The willingness of the women to accept what has been done to them and move on, as if they themselves are not worth the energy to save. Over and over the mantra "what can you do? You just move on" and try to protect your children. The abusers are almost all relatives. This is how they deal with the pain of how do you protect your children from your own family when you can't even protect yourself? What was glaringly obvious and disgusting is the complete lack of accountability that was never discussed, the appropriate behavior that was never expected. Just guilt from not being able to keep your kid from harm. The women were almost never in a position of power, so they survived as best they could. Just be on guard, hope for the best, expect the worst and be happy when your abuser dies. And don't ever rock the boat.

Much needed film

[ashleymgambino · 10/10 · 14 May 2024]

This film, while difficult to watch at times because of subject matter, is needed. It depicted the complex layers that truth tellers/change makers face after being honest with their family about their trauma. Seeing the effects of patriarchy and sexual abuse on this Italian-Americans hit close to home. The relationship with the older generations, and hearing them speak their truths for the first time was tremendous. This film was well-done and ended in an unexpected way that will stay with me. This film makes me wish I could sit with the older generations of my family and ask the hard questions. It also inspires me to have open, deep dialogue with my three daughters, my nieces and nephews, my friend's children on sexual safety. Tracy's bravery inspires me to be brave.

Courageous look at Skeletons in the Closet

[qweenstax · 10/10 · 14 April 2024]

Every family has skeletons in their closet. Unfortunately ignoring some of those skeletons cause irreparable damage that can create more, or damage others beyond repair. This courageous and honest look into one family's closet is heartbreaking and yet so healing!

The conversations that were had in this film busts those closet doors open, exposes truths long left for dead but are so necessary to help in the healing process.

Children are so often isolated, threatened, told no one will ever believe or love them that they carry those comments, believe them and sometimes don't understand why because they disassociate from the world.

This heartbreaking film is worth the watch. It's a step forward on a healing path and a peek into past generations reasons for locking those skeletons away. Bust down those doors! Speak Up and Loud if you are or were abused. Seek help.

Relative

[marysetti · 10/10 · 1 May 2024]

Relative was a very difficult movie for me to watch. However, it was necessary for me to view.

The fear, the guilt, the shame is so raw. Somehow a child feels ashamed to be part of this depraved behavior.

It took a lot of courage for a victim to come forward and tell her story. For many of us the time has passed for us to confront our abusers. I would think that confronting them would have been somewhat satisfying and possibly terrifying at the same time. It comforts me that the victim was able to tell her abuser how badly damaged she felt. I was dismayed that the grandmother didn't want to admit the pain it caused her. I saw the pain in the grandmother's face and her movement. There is no denying that sexual abuse causes damage.

I have to applaud the videographer for letting the world know that families like this exist. Sexual abuse by people who we should have been able to trust is just so wrong and so hard to imagine. Yet it happens all the time. Just think about how terrifying it is for a young child to live under the same roof as their abuser and be unable to confide in anyone. If they told the truth they would be labeled a liar and punished.

The film showed raw emotion and that is exactly what was necessary. This is most definitely an important film and one worth viewing, even if you weren't a victim. However, if you were abused the film is almost a necessity so that healing can start. I was so angry after watching the film that I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs.

The damage done is impossible to comprehend. The years don't stop the memories that flood back and the anger and hurt returns.

Oddly, I do understand not mentioning the names of the abusers.

As hurt as victims are, we are still human beings. Ripping families apart may not be in our makeup, as much as the abusers deserve to be outed.

Thank you Tracey for being the courageous woman you are!

Not a "brave look" at all

[karengray-29506 · 1/10 · 16 April 2024]

This film could have been amazing if the filmmaker had gone deep into the family structure of the hierarchy of her family of pedophiles. Three generations of the women in her family being sexually abused, including herself, with very little details of the abuse, and even less details of the perpetrators. Left the viewer confused as to who did what to whom. Even more disappointing was the fact that the entire film depicted these women as STILL protecting their abusers! They gave as little detail as possible. With all of the years of film that the matriarch of the family preserved, and all three generations still living, this could have been extraordinary...instead fell way short.