Ember Days (2013 Video) User Reviews

Painful, like a sore tooth you keep going back to with your tongue.

[william_morris · 3/10 · 24 January 2019]

This is the kind of movie you'd get if a goth con held at a renaissance festival had a collective fever dream while in possession of a camcorder, a bootleg copy of AfterEffects, and a budget of just under $20, most of which was spent on eyeliner. There are some good ideas here - though readers of The Dresden Files will be treading on very familiar ground, since the script seems entirely derived from Jim Butcher's world building - but the majority of the cast just isn't capable of carrying them off. The actor playing Hermes - mostly because he has so much screen time - is particularly horrific, delivering his lines in an ostentatiously declamatory oration better suited to reading Wagner aloud while stoned. Kudos to (Austin Texas musician) Bekah Kelso, who not surprisingly gives the best performance of the cast, delivering with sincerity lines that would have challenged a funeral director's ability to keep a straight face. If you like bad movies, this is a worthy addition to your collection. (Search up the review on God Awful Movies. It's brilliant.)

Put Together

[bemyfriend-40184 · 4/10 · 8 February 2022]

I can't guess who made this movie, or why. Are these people usually involved in porn? Are they pro-wrestlers? They want to show their straight acting skills. So, their usual promoter, with a few of his friends, made a straight film. It didn't make much sense. Some guy with some knowledge of mythology is also a writer. He wrote a script. Put all this together, and they made a movie. Seen on Tubi, the free streaming site; which has many indie films; and now, live TV.

sean michael argo is up to his old (bad ) tricks

[lonermon-82691 · 1/10 · 7 June 2020]

Another installment of his horrible directing skills. it appears he is impervious to experience and learning from his mistakes . this movie was terrible .

Yeah, it's that bad.

[kirachloe · 1/10 · 17 January 2024]

Someone got a new iPhone and figured they too could make a movie. Let's see. Step 1: call on their high school drama team. See if they can grab costumes from the prop department. If not, "hey what's in your closet". Step 2: sit around drinking Friday night and sketch out a scrip ... or not (more likely in this case). Step 3: MAKE A MOVIE! Who needs all that expensive equipment like a camera and mic ... or even a tripod. We have an iPhone!! Who needs special effects? ... we can just play with the camera settings! A stage? Nope, just do everything in the dark. And by the end of the weekend, viola. You have wasted everyone time, including your audiences.

When a pretentious hipster with one sword tries to make a movie.

[Aaron1375 · 1/10 · 27 May 2024]

When the director appears in the movie and looks like the lead singer from either Korn or Counting Crows (take your pick) you know you are in good hands. That is if by good you mean a person who uses crummy CGI to portray gunshot wounds while using obviously toy guns, literally does not show the final battle, but rather tries to be artsy and has a plot so nonsensical, only he truly understands it. Yup, good hands indeed as this film is done on the cheap by a bunch of people who would probably rate this thing a ten and mean it saying us mere mortals just did not get it.

The story, winter is taking over or something as Hermes hangs out with a snake that becomes winter's champion. They must kill the Titans to take total control of the world or end it or something. They made the bold decision to portray the titans as simply humans, probably because they could not afford to do anything really cool. Once again, they literally have one sword in this thing. A woman teams up with another dude to try and stop them, but they do not do too well, but hey guy she is with apparently defeated winter's champion as we do not see the battle rather it is acted out by the woman pretending she is on the bridge of the Enterprise...

No actors of note in this thing. They all obviously think they are cool wearing stupid outfits and spouting off their nonsensical lines with a seriousness that would be more fitting a stage. You can tell the director thought this thing was something special and I am sure he thinks it is great so more power to him.

So if you are expecting to see cool sword fights or any cool fights for that matter, I would not check this thing out. If you want to see a strange sword that is not used, a final battle not seen and stupid people running in the woods shooting obviously toy guns, your ship has come in! My advice to anyone wanting to make a film involving titans and Greek Gods, make sure you have a budget large enough to accommodate it rather than one that probably barely handled the sword and snake rental...