Roger : I look like Ricky Martin's asshole.
Zack : You need a lot more blood for that.
Zack : If y'all wanna talk about bitches and guns and football, I can feel it, yo.
Jason : I'm straight, not brain-dead.
Zack : I got a hunch you're gonna start feeling human real soon.
Zack : You've ever had to kiss a guy before?
Benji : How bad could it be?
Zack : He has his name sewn into his underwear. There's nothing to be jealous about.
Zack : [infected with poison oak] It's like my whole body is a circumcision wound.
Benji : I'm close.
Zack : Me, too.
Benji : I love theater.
Zack : Do you like any of the girls here, bro?
Benji : Bro?
Zack : I don't know. Isn't that what guys say to each other?
Benji : In gay pornos, maybe, or the south.
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