Conan (TV Series)

The Devil's Email Attachment (2011)

Brian Stack: Watson the Computer

Quotes 

• Watson the Computer : [after laughing at one of Conan's funny monologue jokes]  My virtual stomach hurts. You are as gifted as Oscar Wilde.

  Andy Richter : [unable to hide his annoyance any longer]  Oh, come on, that, that was a stinker and you know it! I mean, could you be any more of an ass-kisser? You come in here, you suck up to Conan, try to do what I do.

  Watson the Computer : I could never do what you do: leave your wife unsatisfied.

• Watson the Computer : [about Andy's wife]  She thinks IBM stands for 'Insatiable Boning Machine'.

• Watson the Computer : Killing me won't bring back your erection, Andy.

• Watson the Computer : [Andy throws Watson of the top of the studio building]  I haven't gone down this fast since I was with your...

  [Watson hits the ground and explodes] 

• Watson the Computer : [Watson's smoldering remains keep talking]  Andy's wife is a great ball-handler.

  Andy Richter : Now that, see, that's complimentary.

  Conan O'Brien : Yeah, nice.