- Eric Cartman: Mama, please can we go back and get the Toshiba Handibook?
- Liane Cartman: No.
- Eric Cartman: Well, then can we at least pull up here and get some dinner? 'Cause I like to be wined and dined after I've been... FUCKED!
- Japanese Man: So sorry, Kyle, but I am starving. Which would you rather I eat? Should I eat a cuttlefish and asparagus or the vanilla paste-o?
- Kyle Broflovski: [muffled] Vanilla paste! Vanilla paste!
- Liane Cartman: Then why did you go outside to a police officer and say "Help, help. My mom is trying to fuck me"?
- Stan Marsh: We're trying to find out exactly what Kyle agreed to.
- Gerald Broflovski: There can't be anything in that agreement that allows a company to do what they're talking about to Kyle.
- Eric Cartman: It does email and web browsing and it shits in Kyle's mouth? This is the greatest thing that has ever been invented!
- Gerald Broflovski: Well, that does it! I'm going to the police.
- Stan Marsh: For what?
- Gerald Broflovski: To find out where Apple is keeping my son.
- Stan Marsh: Dude, when the police want to know where somebody is, they ask Apple.
- [last lines, everyone leaves as Steve Jobs has Kyle separated from his two victims]
- Eric Cartman: Hey! Hey, what is this! Some sort of sick prank? I get the greatest thing ever just to have it taken away?
- [looks up at the sky]
- Eric Cartman: [innocent tone] Why did you do this to me, God? Next time you're gonna get my hopes up, could you please take me to a grease monkey? 'Cause I like to get lubed up...
- [his tone changes to total fury]
- Eric Cartman: ... before I get FUCKED! Huh? Some lube would be nice, or at least a courtesy lick, God! How about a little courtesy lick next time you decide to FUCK me!
- [without warning, a bolt of lightning hits Cartman, the screen suddenly goes black, the final scene shows Cartman recuperated in a hospital bed with injuries and burns, he cries as Liane sits by his side and just reads her book]