Siskel & Ebert (TV Series)

Leave It to Beaver/Money Talks/Mimic/Masterminds/Gabbeh (1997)

Roger Ebert: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Gene Siskel - Host : [reviewing "Leave it to Beaver"]  Ward Cleaver, this character, uh, he looks unhappy, a little sinister in some way.

  Roger Ebert - Host : NO he didn't!

  Gene Siskel - Host : He did to me.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Oh, where did you get...

  Gene Siskel - Host : His face- I'm talking about the actor.

  Roger Ebert - Host : He looks like a completely normal, nice dad.

  Gene Siskel - Host : He does NOT look like a nice dad.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Yes he does. There's no problem at all with him.

  Gene Siskel - Host : And I didn't even like... here's my most controversial remark in many a week. I didn't even like the casting of the little boy.

  Roger Ebert - Host : You didn't like the Beaver?

  Gene Siskel - Host : The original, no. The original actor...

  Roger Ebert - Host : Now, are you reviewing this movie in contrast to TV, or on its own?

  Gene Siskel - Host : Roger, believe it or not, like you, I haven't seen the show in thirty years.

  [Roger chuckles] 

  Gene Siskel - Host : It wasn't on my screening list lately.

  Roger Ebert - Host : So you're just, you're pure in not liking it.

  Gene Siskel - Host : I'm pure in not liking it.

• Gene Siskel - Host : That's a scene from our next movie, a forgettable comic action picture called "Masterminds", and to prove it's forgettable, I'll tell a tale out of school. Roger and I have a meeting each week with our production team to decide what order we're gonna review the movies on this show. Well, someone names the movies, and then we discuss where to place it in the order of the five movies on the program. But in the case of "Masterminds", neither one of us could remember what it was about! We had just seen it a few days before. We had to be reminded.

  [...] 

  Gene Siskel - Host : "Masterminds" is all over the map. No sense of consistent tone or style, that's why it's so forgettable. Thumbs way down for me on this one, and try to remember the name "Masterminds", because I couldn't. You don't want to stumble into this picture thinking it's something else.

  Roger Ebert - Host : You know, this is one of those movies while, when you're sitting there, you're saying, "There is NOTHING to think about."

  Gene Siskel - Host : Right.

  Roger Ebert - Host : There is nothing on the screen to interest me. It, in a way, it's as if... you know how protons can kinda go through lead and not hit anything? This movie went through my MIND and didn't hit anything.

  Gene Siskel - Host : I'll pass the obvious joke.

  Roger Ebert - Host : I'm sure you will, because it went through YOUR mind, too. This movie is vacuous. This is air. This is nothing. This is a complete waste of time.

  Gene Siskel - Host : And this is the time when we, we know we have one of the great jobs of all time, but this is when... it's rough, because you're being robbed of your life.

  Roger Ebert - Host : Two hours, gone forever. Gone, FOREVER.