Gossip Girl (TV Series)

Despicable B (2012)

William Baldwin: William van der Woodsen

Photos 

Quotes 

• William Van Der Woodsen : [into a phone]  I did as you asked. I tricked Carol into signing over her half of the Rhodes estate to me. So, I'll sign Carol's half of the estate over to you when I get back to the apartment.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : [into a phone]  Good. We both know that Carol does not deserve any part of my mother's money, and getting it away from her is the least you deserve for what I found out about you two today.

  William Van Der Woodsen : I can understand you leaving Carol to rot in jail and you tricking Ivy with a bribe into helping you, but you are going to take care of Lola, right? That was the deal.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : What kind of a monster do you think I am? Do you think that just because she's a product of one of your many extramarial affairs that I would punish Lola by cutting her out too? I wouldn't do that.

  William Van Der Woodsen : Why is it that I don't believe you?

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : [smirks]  See you soon.

• Charlie 'Lola' Rhodes : You gotta give me a moment.

  William Van Der Woodsen : Lola, wait. Let me take you home. You know I never meant for any of this to happen, right?

  Serena van der Woodsen : [dripping with sarcasm]  Oh, wow, what's next? You're gonna walk her down the aisle?

• Lily Van Der Woodsen : Well, in the spirit of the evening, I've decided to serve tonight's meal family-style.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Mom, this is so unlike you. You hate anything family-style.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : Yes, well, I've *since* realized how important sharing is in a family dynamic.

  [speaking for David's benefit:] 

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : Us Van der Woodsens share more than you can possibly imagine.

  Carol Rhodes : Yeah, like when you used to steal my leg warmers when we were teenagers.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : Yeah, just like that. Or when you stole my husband and decided to have a baby with him behind my back.

  Charlie 'Lola' Rhodes : Oh my God.

  [looks down] 

  Serena van der Woodsen : Mom, why are you doing this now? I think David's seen enough family bonding for one evening.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : No, please, Serena, let him stay. I don't want there to be any more secrets.

  Carol Rhodes : [to William]  Why did you tell Lillian?

  William Van Der Woodsen : I never said a word.

  Carol Rhodes : Lola was never supposed to know about this.

  Charlie 'Lola' Rhodes : Or maybe if you didn't want me to know, you shouldn't have blackmailed him.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : And if it wasn't bad enough that you slept with my husband all those years ago, and left your daughter in the dark about her father's identity, then you send an *impostor* into my home to get money.

  Carol Rhodes : Yeah, you know what? I don't have to listen to this any longer.

  [throws her napkin onto the table] 

  Carol Rhodes : I got what I came here for. My half of the inheritance, and I'm...

  [gets up] 

  Carol Rhodes : leaving.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : It's not exactly that easy. Gentlemen...

  [two NY policemen appear] 

  Carol Rhodes : What's going on?

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : You're being arrested for fraud.

  Carol Rhodes : Ivy is the one who committed fraud, not me.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : But you're the one who put her up to it, so that kinda makes you the mastermind behind the whole thing.

  [David takes notes] 

  Carol Rhodes : Well, unfortunately for you, Ivy would never admit that to anyone, otherwise she would incriminate herself in the process!

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : Ivy?

  Ivy Dickens : [appears]  Actually, I've already given my statement. And in exchange for ratting you out... I got off Scot-free.

  [Serena closes her eyes] 

  Gossip Girl : Uh-oh, Carol. Dinner's over, and it looks like Ivy just served you your last supper.

• Charlie 'Lola' Rhodes : You realize this isn't just hurting my Mom, it's hurting me too!

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : Your mother deserves to be punished. She defrauded all of us and we should have done this months ago.

  Carol Rhodes : You know, don't listen to her, Lola, this has nothing to do with fraud. This is all because I slept with her husband two decades ago. Here's the thing, Lily, I never would have *been* with William in the first place *if* he were happy with you.

  Lily Van Der Woodsen : [to the police escorting Carol away]  One tip. If you want things to go smoothly in the jail, put her in solitary.

  Charlie 'Lola' Rhodes : [to Lily]  You know, maybe my Mom was right keeping me from coming here, because the truth doesn't help any.

  William Van Der Woodsen : Lola, wait. Let me take you home. You know, I never meant for any of this to happen, right?

  Serena van der Woodsen : Oh, wow, what's next? Are you gonna walk her down the aisle?

  [scoffs, goes off] 

• William Van Der Woodsen : Serena, wait. Give me a minute, please. Hey, look! I'm sorry for not being truthful with you today. And cheating on your mother all those years ago.

  Serena van der Woodsen : Those things are between you and my Mom. But you lied to me today to protect Lola.

  [tearfully:] 

  Serena van der Woodsen : You left me when I was four years old... and when I tracked you down, you wouldn't even see me. All I ever wanted in my whole life was a father, and all you ever did was avoid me. And then now when you find out about Lola, you just rush to be by her side.

  [William looks down guiltily] 

  Serena van der Woodsen : Well, you broke my Mom's heart, and now you just broke mine.

  [walks away]