Gossip Girl (TV Series)
Despicable B (2012)
Kaylee DeFer: Ivy Dickens
Quotes
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Lily Van Der Woodsen : Well, in the spirit of the evening, I've decided to serve tonight's meal family-style.
Serena van der Woodsen : Mom, this is so unlike you. You hate anything family-style.
Lily Van Der Woodsen : Yes, well, I've *since* realized how important sharing is in a family dynamic.
[speaking for David's benefit:]
Lily Van Der Woodsen : Us Van der Woodsens share more than you can possibly imagine.
Carol Rhodes : Yeah, like when you used to steal my leg warmers when we were teenagers.
Lily Van Der Woodsen : Yeah, just like that. Or when you stole my husband and decided to have a baby with him behind my back.
Charlie 'Lola' Rhodes : Oh my God.
[looks down]
Serena van der Woodsen : Mom, why are you doing this now? I think David's seen enough family bonding for one evening.
Lily Van Der Woodsen : No, please, Serena, let him stay. I don't want there to be any more secrets.
Carol Rhodes : [to William] Why did you tell Lillian?
William Van Der Woodsen : I never said a word.
Carol Rhodes : Lola was never supposed to know about this.
Charlie 'Lola' Rhodes : Or maybe if you didn't want me to know, you shouldn't have blackmailed him.
Lily Van Der Woodsen : And if it wasn't bad enough that you slept with my husband all those years ago, and left your daughter in the dark about her father's identity, then you send an *impostor* into my home to get money.
Carol Rhodes : Yeah, you know what? I don't have to listen to this any longer.
[throws her napkin onto the table]
Carol Rhodes : I got what I came here for. My half of the inheritance, and I'm...
[gets up]
Carol Rhodes : leaving.
Lily Van Der Woodsen : It's not exactly that easy. Gentlemen...
[two NY policemen appear]
Carol Rhodes : What's going on?
Lily Van Der Woodsen : You're being arrested for fraud.
Carol Rhodes : Ivy is the one who committed fraud, not me.
Lily Van Der Woodsen : But you're the one who put her up to it, so that kinda makes you the mastermind behind the whole thing.
[David takes notes]
Carol Rhodes : Well, unfortunately for you, Ivy would never admit that to anyone, otherwise she would incriminate herself in the process!
Lily Van Der Woodsen : Ivy?
Ivy Dickens : [appears] Actually, I've already given my statement. And in exchange for ratting you out... I got off Scot-free.
[Serena closes her eyes]
Gossip Girl : Uh-oh, Carol. Dinner's over, and it looks like Ivy just served you your last supper.