- Chuck Bass: After everything we've been through, there's no room for secrets. Nor should there be. Whatever it is you can tell me, Blair. It's just us here you and me.
- Dan Humphrey: Well, for starters, I will be going all summer so, you know, being a 21st century boyfriend I thought we should discuss it first.
- Blair Waldorf: That's sweet. But I would never stand in the way of an opportunity like that. You have to take it.
- Dan Humphrey: I'm already late to meet Alessandra in Brooklyn. She's dying to come over the loft 'cause I know she wants to read my first chapter.
- Blair Waldorf: It's not done?
- Dan Humphrey: It's basically done.
- Blair Waldorf: What is Dan Humphrey's definition of "basically"?
- Dan Humphrey: Page 2. I'm blocked, alright? It happens.
- Blair Waldorf: Chuck, I don't have time for any of your nonsense. I have a very busy day planned.
- Chuck Bass: Blair, listen to me please. I have this book. It's written in code and I desperately need to crack. And I remembered how good you are at things like this. Or at least you were. Maybe that was the old you?
- Blair Waldorf: [got a text from Dan cancelling their lunch plans] You know what, Bass? Today is your lucky day.
- [first lines]
- Gossip Girl: [narrating] They say in life there are three sides to every story. But on the Upper East, we know it has three. There's his, hers... but the most important is always *mine.*
- Serena van der Woodsen: [a knock on her door] Come in. Oh, Dorota, you didn't have to bring me breakfast.
- Dorota Kishlovsky: Miss Serena, you must taste-test my new kreplach. These bad boys take Warsaw faster than Red Army.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, thank you. But do you mind setting it down for a minute? I have to finish what I'm typing.
- Dorota Kishlovsky: Miss Serena, all you do all day is type, type, type. You take laptop with you everywhere. Is not healthy.
- Serena van der Woodsen: Well, after last week's family meltdown, this laptop is the only thing keeping me sane. Writing is my new outlet. You should be happy for me.
- Dorota Kishlovsky: If you say so. But Vanya say same thing about Warcraft, and then DSL bill come.
- [looks glum, and Serena laughs]