Last Man Standing (TV Series)

Pilot (2011)

Hector Elizondo: Ed Alzate

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ed Alzate : How is Mike pretending to be angry, scary, and unstable good for our website?

  Kyle Anderson : We've gotten tons of hits. Hits are good.

  Ed Alzate : I know hits are good, you jackwang. I'm not a thousand years old.

  Kyle Anderson : It's gone viral. Our web traffic is way up.

  Ed Alzate : Well... looks like this company has finally entered the 20th century, huh?

  Kyle Anderson : But it's the 21st century, sir.

  Ed Alzate : One step at a time, Kyle.

• Ed Alzate : Just got a call from corporate today. They wanna shut down the catalog.

  Mike Baxter : Corporate? You own the company.

  Ed Alzate : Well, it was worth a shot. What the hell.

  Mike Baxter : Wait, what are you talking about? Our catalog was voted Best Catalog by Catalog Magazine.

• Ed Alzate : Catalog is done.

  Mike Baxter : What, are you gonna phase it out?

  Ed Alzate : Consider it phased.

  Mike Baxter : After Costa Rica, we're done?

  Ed Alzate : No Costa, no Rica. You're grounded. But I need your expertise on the website.

  Mike Baxter : The website's terrible.

  Ed Alzate : Oh, that's why I want you in charge of it. For us to have any future at all, we have to lure young men to our stuff.

  Mike Baxter : Now you sound like my sisters talking.

  Ed Alzate : Young people don't read catalogs anymore. They're online, so your job now is you gotta go get 'em. I need this company to be viable a hundred years from now so I'll have a place to come back to when they unfreeze my head.