Last Man Standing (TV Series)
Pilot (2011)
Nancy Travis: Vanessa Baxter
Photos
Quotes
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Vanessa Baxter : Oh, your dad's home.
Eve Baxter : Oh, finally. I've been cooped up with you hens long enough.
Vanessa Baxter : Oh, Eve, honey, it's not cute when your dad says it, and it's just... confusing when you do it.
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Eve Baxter : Well, we have to move!
Vanessa Baxter : What happened?
Eve Baxter : Dad! He told me that boys would like me more if I played aggressive. I sprained Victor Blake's ankle, and now they call me "Queen Kong."
[Mike enters the house behind her]
Eve Baxter : I'm going to pack! Ugh!
Mike Baxter : [seeing Vanessa's expression] I can explain. We might have to move.
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Mandy Baxter : Where was his catalog shoot this time? Peru? Portugal? Something with a "P".
Eve Baxter : Yeah, Alaska, with a "P."
Vanessa Baxter : He said he was bringing dinner home.
Kristin Baxter : Oh, good. We're starving.
Mike Baxter : [entering with a giant fish in hand] I'm back!
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Vanessa Baxter : [Mike has brought a giant fish home for dinner] What am I supposed to do with this?
Mike Baxter : You slice it, mouth to anus. You pull everything out. Pretty self-explanatory.
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Vanessa Baxter : Can you drive Eve to soccer?
Mike Baxter : [scoffing] Soccer. That's just Europe's covert war for the hearts and minds of America's kids.
Eve Baxter : We're scrimmaging the boys to make us tougher.
Mike Baxter : Well, the boys aren't that tough. I've seen them play. Running around, getting hair gel in their eyes, run into the goalpost, and they cry.
Vanessa Baxter : Why are you watching the young boys play soccer?
Mike Baxter : I'm pretty sure I just explained why.
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Kristin Baxter : Hey, mom, can you take Boyd to day care? I can't be late to the diner. It's our salute to bacon week, and I am the only person who knows how to work the defibrillator.
Vanessa Baxter : I'm running late. Ask your dad.
Kristin Baxter : Oh, not dad. Boyd only knows, like, six words, and half of them are "I blame Obamacare!". He's a bad influence.
Mike Baxter : You know, he's standing right here.
Vanessa Baxter : He does his best.
Mike Baxter : Literally, I'm standing right here.
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Vanessa Baxter : How's work?
Kristin Baxter : Oh, they're adding all you can eat sausage to the mix tomorrow. It's gonna be mayhem.
Vanessa Baxter : [sympathetically] Mm.
Mike Baxter : I love sausage.
Vanessa Baxter : Your dad can drive Boyd to day care.
Mike Baxter , Kristin Baxter : There's no car seat in the truck.
Vanessa Baxter : Well, I will take the truck. You can take the minivan.
Mike Baxter : [he laughs] You'll take the truck. I'll drive the minivan. You're not kidding right now, are you?
Vanessa Baxter : No, I'm not.