Last Man Standing (TV Series)
Pilot (2011)
Molly Ephraim: Mandy Baxter
Photos
Quotes
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Mandy Baxter : Sorry I'm late for dinner! Travis and I got a flat tire, and it took forever for AAA to get there.
Mike Baxter : Wait. Don't tell me you called a strange person to change your tire.
Mandy Baxter : Then why did you give me an auto club card?
Mike Baxter : That's for a real emergency, like a meteor hitting the car or something. Wh-where is Travis?
Mandy Baxter : Uh, he went to the tanning salon.
Mike Baxter : [groaning in pain] Ohh! Ugh! Ow! That actually hurts to hear that.
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Mike Baxter : What's the matter? I'm saying...
Mandy Baxter : No! You're just gonna say it's stupid.
Mike Baxter : Come on, give me a break. I'm your dad. What- what's going on?
Mandy Baxter : Travis said that "Glee" is dumb.
Mike Baxter : Oh, for crap's sake. Is that what's worrying you? Is that why you're crying?
[Mandy leaves, sobbing]
Mike Baxter : [to Eve] What's "Glee"?
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Mike Baxter : Hey, Eve, would you give me the ketchup...
Eve Baxter : Not talking to you.
Mike Baxter : Kristin, does Boyd want a hot dog, or do you have some soy thing on a stick in your purse?
[Kristin ignores him]
Mike Baxter : Okay, I get it. Nobody's talking to me.
Mandy Baxter : I'm talking to you, dad.
Mike Baxter : That makes me nervous.
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Mandy Baxter : Will you go pick up Travis, please?
Mike Baxter : You can pick him up.
Mandy Baxter : Really?
Mike Baxter : Yeah, if you can just figure out how to change a tire.
[Mandy turns to leave]
Mike Baxter : So sad.
Mandy Baxter : I'm living with Lord Voldemort!
Mike Baxter : I don't know who that is, but he sounds like a very caring father.
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Eve Baxter : Mandy, you're getting glitter on my soccer ball.
Mandy Baxter : Oh, well, now it's a disco ball.
[singsong]
Mandy Baxter : You're welcome!
Kristin Baxter : Oh, look, Boyd drew a rocket. Or a... wiener. You know what? Let's go with rocket.
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Mandy Baxter : Where was his catalog shoot this time? Peru? Portugal? Something with a "P".
Eve Baxter : Yeah, Alaska, with a "P."
Vanessa Baxter : He said he was bringing dinner home.
Kristin Baxter : Oh, good. We're starving.
Mike Baxter : [entering with a giant fish in hand] I'm back!
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Mike Baxter : [seeing Mandy crying] Now what's wrong?
Eve Baxter : Dad, no. It's gonna be boring.
Mandy Baxter : I just... I really needed mom's advice.
Mike Baxter : Well, I'm here. You can have dad's advice.
Mandy Baxter : No, I need good advice.
Mike Baxter : I gave your older sister plenty of advice when she was a teenager. What's up?
Mandy Baxter : Oh, yeah. Is that when she got the tattoo or when she came home from her prom pregnant?
Mike Baxter : She has a tattoo?
Eve Baxter : I think it's called a tramp stamp.
Mike Baxter : Yeah, thank god. She doesn't have a tattoo. She has a-a tramp stamp.
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Mike Baxter : Honey, I-I don't think you're ever gonna be able to rely on this Travis guy, and I'm also gonna ground you 'till you can figure out how to change a tire.
Mandy Baxter : [running out] That's so unfair!
Mike Baxter : Who ever said life was supposed to be fair? I'm just doing this so you don't have to depend on a man.
Kristin Baxter : Um, I thought your argument with me was that I needed a man.
Mike Baxter : [stammering] Just concern yourself with this area over here.