Last Man Standing (TV Series)
Pilot (2011)
Kaitlyn Dever: Eve Baxter
Photos
Quotes
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Vanessa Baxter : Oh, your dad's home.
Eve Baxter : Oh, finally. I've been cooped up with you hens long enough.
Vanessa Baxter : Oh, Eve, honey, it's not cute when your dad says it, and it's just... confusing when you do it.
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Eve Baxter : Well, we have to move!
Vanessa Baxter : What happened?
Eve Baxter : Dad! He told me that boys would like me more if I played aggressive. I sprained Victor Blake's ankle, and now they call me "Queen Kong."
[Mike enters the house behind her]
Eve Baxter : I'm going to pack! Ugh!
Mike Baxter : [seeing Vanessa's expression] I can explain. We might have to move.
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Mike Baxter : Hey, Eve, would you give me the ketchup...
Eve Baxter : Not talking to you.
Mike Baxter : Kristin, does Boyd want a hot dog, or do you have some soy thing on a stick in your purse?
[Kristin ignores him]
Mike Baxter : Okay, I get it. Nobody's talking to me.
Mandy Baxter : I'm talking to you, dad.
Mike Baxter : That makes me nervous.
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Eve Baxter : Mandy, you're getting glitter on my soccer ball.
Mandy Baxter : Oh, well, now it's a disco ball.
[singsong]
Mandy Baxter : You're welcome!
Kristin Baxter : Oh, look, Boyd drew a rocket. Or a... wiener. You know what? Let's go with rocket.
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Mandy Baxter : Where was his catalog shoot this time? Peru? Portugal? Something with a "P".
Eve Baxter : Yeah, Alaska, with a "P."
Vanessa Baxter : He said he was bringing dinner home.
Kristin Baxter : Oh, good. We're starving.
Mike Baxter : [entering with a giant fish in hand] I'm back!
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Vanessa Baxter : Can you drive Eve to soccer?
Mike Baxter : [scoffing] Soccer. That's just Europe's covert war for the hearts and minds of America's kids.
Eve Baxter : We're scrimmaging the boys to make us tougher.
Mike Baxter : Well, the boys aren't that tough. I've seen them play. Running around, getting hair gel in their eyes, run into the goalpost, and they cry.
Vanessa Baxter : Why are you watching the young boys play soccer?
Mike Baxter : I'm pretty sure I just explained why.
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Mike Baxter : [seeing Mandy crying] Now what's wrong?
Eve Baxter : Dad, no. It's gonna be boring.
Mandy Baxter : I just... I really needed mom's advice.
Mike Baxter : Well, I'm here. You can have dad's advice.
Mandy Baxter : No, I need good advice.
Mike Baxter : I gave your older sister plenty of advice when she was a teenager. What's up?
Mandy Baxter : Oh, yeah. Is that when she got the tattoo or when she came home from her prom pregnant?
Mike Baxter : She has a tattoo?
Eve Baxter : I think it's called a tramp stamp.
Mike Baxter : Yeah, thank god. She doesn't have a tattoo. She has a-a tramp stamp.