The Cleveland Show (TV Series)
BFFs (2011)
Seth MacFarlane: Tim the Bear, Peter Griffin, Brian Griffin, Stewie Griffin
Quotes
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Cleveland Brown : [when Peter comes to rescue Cleveland and his friends] Thanks, Peter. How did you know we were here?
Peter Griffin : Well, I felt bad after you left Quahog, so I called your house. Your wife said you were doing a friendship thing in the woods and I immediately thought, "Well, this is going to end in hillbilly rape", so I tracked you down and here I am.
Cleveland Brown : But I thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore.
Peter Griffin : Well, as soon as you left, I started really intense psychotherapy with that gay guy in town who has like a thousand jobs.
Cleveland Brown : They once said his name was Bruce.
Peter Griffin : Right. So, apparently, I have abandonment issues stemming from my relationship with my father, blah, blah, blah, ticking time bomb, so I pushed you away before you could do it to me.
Cleveland Brown : But I would never do that. We're BFFs.
[he and Peter show each other their lip tattoos]
Peter Griffin : I'm sorry, Cleveland. You're my friend. You always have been. And I know deep down in my heart, I still love you.
[Cleveland starts crying]
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Peter Griffin : See, Cleveland, that's the difference between our two shows. On our show, we would have shown the rape and had a show tune about the rape.
Cleveland Brown : And I would have just been the black guy.
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Cleveland Brown : Peter, why didn't you call me when you were in town last week?
Peter Griffin : Yeah, uh, my phone died of AIDS.
Cleveland Brown : AIDS is no longer a death sentence.
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Cleveland Brown : [to Peter] But I thought we were friends.
Peter Griffin : We were neighbors and drinking buddies. We weren't friends.