New Girl (TV Series)

Cece Crashes (2011)

Zooey Deschanel: Jess Day

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jess Day : I got your text. Are you ready to go home?

  Cece Parekh : Ohh, thank you for coming. Jess, he was making out with another girl.

  Jess Day : You... get away from here.

  Gavin : Okay, are you, Ms. Pajama, okay? You're blocking my booth. Get out of here!

  Cece Parekh : Don't talk to her like that, okay? That is my best friend!

  Gavin : [she rips open his shirt]  You ripped my deep V! This is my favorite deep V!

  Jess Day : [leading Cece away]  It's just a deeper V.

• Jess Day : We're just friends.

  Cece Parekh : You can't be friends with these guys. You don't think that every single one of them has thought about sleeping with you?

  Jess Day : No. You just think everyone wants to sleep with everyone all the time.

  Cece Parekh : They do. That's why I think that. Don't you hear how he says your name?

  [imitating Nick] 

  Cece Parekh : Jess.

  Jess Day : He's from Chicago. That's how people from Chicago say "Jess."

  [with a Chicago accent] 

  Jess Day : Like "Bears" and "milk." And "let's go visit the Sears Tower."

• Cece Parekh : Okay, do you hear what he is saying to you?

  Jess Day : Yes, I hear what he's saying.

  Cece Parekh : He's trying to tell you that he cares about you.

  Jess Day : No! He doesn't care about me.

  Cece Parekh : So I'm gonna make this happen for you.

  Jess Day : He cares about me as a friend.

  Cece Parekh : This is so on, Jess.

  Jess Day : No, it is not.

  Cece Parekh : [they start quasi-cat-fighting]  Oh, it's on.

  Jess Day : Oh, on it is not.

  Cece Parekh : I'm trying to help you right...

  Jess Day : No.

  Cece Parekh : Okay, no, my face is my job. My face is my job. Okay.

  Jess Day : No! No! My earring.

  Cece Parekh : Okay.

  Jess Day : It is stuck in your hair.

• Nick Miller : Seriously, Jess, what the hell happened? I've been driving around for the last hour looking for you.

  Cece Parekh : Everything is okay, and we were hoping to get everything out...

  Jess Day , Cece Parekh : On the table.

  Jess Day : The table which is not a table, it doesn't exist. So don't... don't worry about the table.

  Nick Miller : We were in the middle of traffic and you just got out and ran away.

  Jess Day : I was hot.

  Nick Miller : You were so hot that you had to jump out of my car and run? Why are you standing like that?

  Jess Day : This is how I stand.

  Nick Miller : I've never seen you stand like that. I was really worried something had happened to you, okay? And you can't just walk around this neighborhood with bags full of toilet paper that you don't even use.

  Cece Parekh : What?

  Jess Day : [whispering]  I told him I don't use toilet paper.

• Jess Day : I'm sorry that Cece did this to you.

  Schmidt : Ah, it's okay. I'm used to it. I guess I'll just always be the fat kid with the big dreams.

  Jess Day : It's not you. I love Cece, but she's not ready for you. You're a good guy, you know, if you ignore everything that you do on purpose and concentrate on all the things that you do by accident.

  Schmidt : Thank you.

  Jess Day : She'd eat you up.

  Schmidt : You really think she'd eat me up?

  Jess Day : Yeah.

  Schmidt : Like buffet-style? You know, all you can eat? 'Cause I got that prime rib, yo. Carving station, plates are warm, sneeze guard, kids eat for free.

• Cece Parekh : Thanks for picking me up, Jess. I really felt that Gavin was different. Didn't you feel like he was different?

  Jess Day : Yeah. I mean, he seemed like a really nice European DJ with a face tattoo.

• Cece Parekh : What is wrong with you? I'm trying to help you here.

  Jess Day : No. I don't need your help. You don't know. Nick and I are friends. You don't know 'cause you don't have guy friends at all. You just hang out with jerks like Gavin. Oh, I'm sorry, DJ Diabeat it.

  Cece Parekh : He has diabetes.

  Jess Day : Oh, he does? Boo-hoo.

  [seeing her reaction] 

  Jess Day : I'm sorry. Is it really bad? I feel really bad.

  Cece Parekh : Oh, he's fine. He takes medication.

  Jess Day : Why do you just come in and you take over? It's like you're playing mind games with people.

  Cece Parekh : Okay, don't put this on me, Jess. Okay, I'm trying to help you. You never make a move...

  Jess Day : Well, I don't need your help. I like moving slow. I like being weird and taking my time. I'm not like you. I don't just jump in the potato sack with the first potato that I meet with diabetes.

  Cece Parekh : Okay, what did you just say?

  Jess Day : You heard me, bitch.

• Nick Miller : I'm going to the drugstore. You need anything?

  Cece Parekh : Yes. Jess, you should go with him, 'cause then you can get that thing that you really need.

  Nick Miller : Oh, I wonder what it is.

  Cece Parekh : She'll be right out.

  [shutting the door on him] 

  Cece Parekh : Just...

  Jess Day : [seeing her look]  No. No! No, you are not coming in here and ruining all this. I'm happy. I like these guys, and I think they're actually starting to like me, too.

  Cece Parekh : Who did you tell me was your perfect man?

  Jess Day : Walter Matthau in "Grumpy Old Men." And I could be girl Jack Lemmon.

  Cece Parekh : He's a total Matthau! I'm telling you, he gets you. And did you see his feet? A guy's feet point at what they want. His feet were pointing right at you.

  Jess Day : Why wouldn't his feet point at me? Otherwise, he's standing like a duck.

• Nick Miller : Well, how long is she staying?

  Jess Day : Oh, not long. I know she can be tough to deal with. Sometimes she just calls me up and she's like, "Bitch, I love you." And then she just hangs up. No other information.

  Nick Miller : Weird.

  Jess Day : [with Cece's advice on her mind, she checks out another pair of shoppers' feet]  But I don't know, I kind of like it when she calls me "bitch." It makes me feel like Janis Joplin.

• Nick Miller : [buying roses for Jess]  What do you mean no? Here, take some roses.

  Jess Day : [recoiling]  No.

  Nick Miller : You want 'em? It's two dollars. It's not a big deal.

  Jess Day : I want them to go, no.

  Nick Miller : They're nice roses.

  [she gets out of the car] 

  Nick Miller : Hey, what are you doing? Where are you going? Jess, it was a joke. What are you doing? Get back in the car.

  [she starts running up the street] 

  Nick Miller : Where are you going?

  [she turns a corner] 

  Nick Miller : That's not the way home.

• Jess Day : I walked home. I got out of the car and I walked home.

  Cece Parekh : Why, what happened?

  Jess Day : His feet were pointed directly at me the whole time. Did I do this? Am I dressing too provocatively? Do I need to get thicker pajamas? Maybe it's my posture. I have really sexy posture.

  Cece Parekh : You know what, don't worry about it. I will talk to him for you.

  Jess Day : No! No, you won't. That would be the worst, most life-ruining thing you could possibly...

  Cece Parekh : [Nick comes in]  Hi, Nick.