New Girl (TV Series)

Cece Crashes (2011)

Jake Johnson: Nick Miller

Photos 

Quotes 

• Nick Miller : [watching Schmidt and Winston dancing with Cece to loud music]  This is the opposite of being alone! This is the opposite of what I wanted this weekend.

• Winston Bishop : All right, take off that kimono, please.

  Schmidt : It's my leisure wear, Winston. Look, I worked 80 hours this week. I just want to come home, put on my 'mono, and just hang loose, man. Okay? If you had a job, you'd understand.

  Winston Bishop : [insulted]  Real... really? Wow. It just got real in here. Okay, you're not gonna take the kimono off? Fine. Then I'm not wearing any pants.

  [yanking off his snap-on pants] 

  Winston Bishop : Boom! Bam! Mm-hmm. Everybody want to just walk around this house wearing all kinds of stupid stuff, then guess what I'm gonna do, Schmidt. I'm wearing a napkin on my face.

  [doing so] 

  Winston Bishop : Bam! How do you like that?

  Schmidt : That doesn't even make any sense, Winston.

  Winston Bishop : It makes perfect sense.

  Schmidt : It's totally different than me wearing my kimono. You are laughing in the face of thousands of years of samurai culture, and it's an affront, Winston. It's an affront.

  Winston Bishop : [putting napkins in his shirt collar, ears, and nose]  Look at me now, huh? This is the vibe we have in the house now because of you. You want to walk around here looking silly.

  Schmidt : This is hand-crafted! In China.

  Nick Miller : Schmidt, I think you should take the kimono off.

• Nick Miller : Seriously, Jess, what the hell happened? I've been driving around for the last hour looking for you.

  Cece Parekh : Everything is okay, and we were hoping to get everything out...

  Jess Day , Cece Parekh : On the table.

  Jess Day : The table which is not a table, it doesn't exist. So don't... don't worry about the table.

  Nick Miller : We were in the middle of traffic and you just got out and ran away.

  Jess Day : I was hot.

  Nick Miller : You were so hot that you had to jump out of my car and run? Why are you standing like that?

  Jess Day : This is how I stand.

  Nick Miller : I've never seen you stand like that. I was really worried something had happened to you, okay? And you can't just walk around this neighborhood with bags full of toilet paper that you don't even use.

  Cece Parekh : What?

  Jess Day : [whispering]  I told him I don't use toilet paper.

• Schmidt : Okay, Benjamin just invited us to a very cool party.

  Nick Miller : No. I just got off three back-to-back shifts at the bar. I just want to sit here all weekend in silence playing this game, then I want to go in my room and do weird stuff on my computer.

  Winston Bishop : Are you even wearing underwear? What is between you and that chair?

  Schmidt : Just a little bit of sunshine.

• Nick Miller : I'm going to the drugstore. You need anything?

  Cece Parekh : Yes. Jess, you should go with him, 'cause then you can get that thing that you really need.

  Nick Miller : Oh, I wonder what it is.

  Cece Parekh : She'll be right out.

  [shutting the door on him] 

  Cece Parekh : Just...

  Jess Day : [seeing her look]  No. No! No, you are not coming in here and ruining all this. I'm happy. I like these guys, and I think they're actually starting to like me, too.

  Cece Parekh : Who did you tell me was your perfect man?

  Jess Day : Walter Matthau in "Grumpy Old Men." And I could be girl Jack Lemmon.

  Cece Parekh : He's a total Matthau! I'm telling you, he gets you. And did you see his feet? A guy's feet point at what they want. His feet were pointing right at you.

  Jess Day : Why wouldn't his feet point at me? Otherwise, he's standing like a duck.

• Nick Miller : Well, how long is she staying?

  Jess Day : Oh, not long. I know she can be tough to deal with. Sometimes she just calls me up and she's like, "Bitch, I love you." And then she just hangs up. No other information.

  Nick Miller : Weird.

  Jess Day : [with Cece's advice on her mind, she checks out another pair of shoppers' feet]  But I don't know, I kind of like it when she calls me "bitch." It makes me feel like Janis Joplin.

• Schmidt : [wearing a kimono a few sizes too small]  Friday night, gentlemen. It's on.

  Nick Miller : What happened to you?

  Schmidt : It's on and poppin' up in here, you feel?

  Nick Miller : What happened to you?

  Schmidt : What?

  Nick Miller : You didn't use to be like this, Schmidt.

  Schmidt : What are you talking about?

  Nick Miller : You've gotten so much worse.

  Schmidt : It's on and poppin'!

• Nick Miller : [buying roses for Jess]  What do you mean no? Here, take some roses.

  Jess Day : [recoiling]  No.

  Nick Miller : You want 'em? It's two dollars. It's not a big deal.

  Jess Day : I want them to go, no.

  Nick Miller : They're nice roses.

  [she gets out of the car] 

  Nick Miller : Hey, what are you doing? Where are you going? Jess, it was a joke. What are you doing? Get back in the car.

  [she starts running up the street] 

  Nick Miller : Where are you going?

  [she turns a corner] 

  Nick Miller : That's not the way home.