I put a great deal of trust in IMDb ratings and reviews, and this Christian love story hanging just below 7/10 was more than enough encouragement for my girlfriend and I to give it a shot this Valentine's weekend. Let me advise you to do otherwise.
We received reliable reviews that this film was "not preachy", and a cut above other Christian films. I enjoyed 'The Ultimate Gift', 'Fireproof', etc. but could not choke this one down, though there was plenty of choking. We winced at each exchange between the main character and his 'predestined' love. The dialogue bluntly beats the viewer over the head with the message that Victorian-era courtship is the only proper way to interact with a woman in a laughably misogynistic presentation of our culture. In the film, simple-minded women are totally at the mercy of their man's virtue or lack thereof, and men are bound to take advantage of that unless they drink tea with their aunt periodically, or something like that. Filmmakers are free to present their message, but someone should tell Swartzwelder that a little subtlety and creativity goes a long way.
We chose not to stick around and learn more about the protagonist's dark past of Girls Gone Wild videotapes. The pretty cinematography couldn't distract from the 'Leave it to Beaver' morals, gushy prattle and suffocating veneration of gramophones, shooting hoops and wood working. Neither of us had walked out of a film before, but 'Old Fashioned' proved to be a ground-breaking film in this regard only.