Xander Corvus: Spider-Man, Peter Parker

Quotes 

• Black Widow : Are you going to help me figure out what I need to know?

  Spider-Man XXX : Oh yeah.

  Black Widow : You are, aren't you?

  Spider-Man XXX : We might have a team.

  Black Widow : Are you my bitch now, Spider-Man?

• Aunt May : Peter, don't you remember Mary-Jane Watson? She used to live next door.

  Mary-Jane : I used to beat you up... when we were like... five?

  Peter Parker : Well, you've certainly changed.

  Mary-Jane : Yeah, a little. You filled out, too.

  Aunt May : Mary Jane's back in town finishing her master's at ESU. I told her she could stay here. I expect you to show her around town.

  Mary-Jane : Let's face it, Tiger, you just hit the jackpot.

• Flash Thompson : Hey, Pete, you did eventually lose your virginity, didn't you?

  Gwen Stacy : He did. We used to date.

  Peter Parker : Oh, just when things seemed like they couldn't get any more awkward.

• [first lines] 

  J.J. Jameson : Guess the hero doesn't always win.

  Peter Parker : What's that, Mr. Jameson?

  J.J. Jameson : Kraven the Hunter, framed for murder by that wall-crawling menace.

  Robbie Robertson : We don't know that, Jonah. Captain Stacy told me there's plenty of evidence.

  J.J. Jameson : Aww bullshit, Robbie, Kraven tried to rid this city of a pest and Spider-Man set him up. That man's a hero.

  Peter Parker : Look, you also say that *Nixon* was misunderstood.

  J.J. Jameson : Who asked you anyway, Parker? What good are you? This morning, Spider-Man and that Juggernaut knocked down a building. Where were you? Where are my pictures?

  Peter Parker : Well, I guess I can't be everywhere at once.

  Robbie Robertson : Jonah, we're not going to run that story. According to the Fantastic Four, Spider-Man tried to stop Juggernaut.

  J.J. Jameson : That's right. Tried and failed. Just like *this* little prick.

  [gestures at Parker] 

  J.J. Jameson : I pay you to be everywhere. You know what, Parker? You're fired. Fired. F-I-R-E-D, fired. Get outta here. Out. Out. Get out.