- Fitness speaker: I'm sad to announce South Park Elementary scored the lowest in the entire country. On the whole you students actually scored fine, but the President's fitness test is actually scored on a school-wide average. And one fourth grader in this school scored so low, with a terrifying body fat score, high blood preasure, and cholesterol levels of a 70 year-old man, that it actually brought your entire school's average down to the lowest in the entire country.
- Eric Cartman: Ahhh!
- [stretches while bored from hearing the speech]
- Fitness speaker: However, the Presidential Fitness Program never wants to single out one child, 'cause then that child might feel bad. And so as far as we're all concerned, you are all a bunch of fat fucking pigs!
- Eric Cartman: Don't you get it, Mom? People voted for Obama, so now that everything sucks, they have to blame me.
- Field reporter: Breaking news form the "Occupy Red Robin" movement. The protester have decreased in number from two to one, as one of the protesters has apparently splintered off from the group to start a new movement: "Occupy the Restroom".