The Final Girls (2015)
Taissa Farmiga: Max Cartwright
Photos
Quotes
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Max Cartwright : You just fucked with the wrong virgin!
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Max Cartwright : Gertie, you're a virgin.
Gertie Michaels : No. Well, not anymore. Last summer with that guy, Jerry. He had like the weird mustache and he, like, winked. Remember?
Vicki Summers : Isn't he autistic?
Gertie Michaels : Yeah. Yeah. He is. But he was also very romantic.
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Nancy : Am I really gonna die?
Max Cartwright : Yeah.
Nancy : So, I guess I never grow up or fall in love or have kids. I had this dream that when I graduated college, I would meet a guy and we'd have a baby. A girl. And if she ever needed me, I would do anything for her - anything. I would've made a really great mom.
Max Cartwright : The best.
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Amanda Cartwright : Honestly, if you ever become an actor, don't ever do a slasher flick.
Max Cartwright : You wouldn't catch me dead in a movie.
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[the kids find themselves living inside of the old slasher movie that they were watching]
Duncan : Okay. So, we're in the movie.
Max Cartwright : Uh-huh. How do we get out of here?
Gertie Michaels : Yeah, I like that question. That is a really, really good question. Duncan, can you answer that question, please?
Duncan : What are you talking about? It's 1986! Our homes don't exist yet, they're probably just landfills waiting to be turned into crappy subdivisions. WE don't exist yet. I know for a fact my parents haven't met because I was an unplanned child.
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Max Cartwright : We will pick this up again. Is that understood? In the meantime, just stay away from Kurt... and keep your shorts on!
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Gertie Michaels : Hey, just keep on keepin' on.
Max Cartwright : What does that even mean?
Gertie Michaels : It's something my therapist tells me all the time.
Max Cartwright : You have a therapist?
Gertie Michaels : Mmm-hmm.
Max Cartwright : Does it help you deal?
Gertie Michaels : No, not really. She's a physical therapist, so...
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Max Cartwright : Vicki, you don't have to die.
Vicki Summers : I'm the mean girl in the 80s horror movie and we're past the midpoint, so, you know, I'd say that I'd overstayed my welcome.
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Max Cartwright : [the kids prepare to watch Camp Bloodbath, which Max's mother starred in]
Max Cartwright : Today's the anniversary of her death. At least I get to see her. Even if she is being chased by a psycho with a machete.
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Max Cartwright : You shouldn't have sex.
Nancy : Why?
Max Cartwright : Because I heard that sex can kill you.
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Chris Briggs : Okay. So, the myth of Persephone. Max, you want to take this one?
Max Cartwright : Sure. She's the daughter of Zeus and she eats pomegranate seeds and then Hades kidnaps her to the underworld.
Chris Briggs : Yeah. Okay, good. So, they go back to the underworld and Persephone is freaking out, and Hermes is like, It's okay, it's okay. Just keep looking forward, or we'll be stuck here forever.
