The Mindy Project (TV Series)

Pilot (2012)

Chris Messina: Danny Castellano

Quotes 

• Danny Castellano : You look nice.

  Mindy Lahiri : Go to hell!

• Mindy Lahiri : I am sharing my feelings with you!

  Danny Castellano : I want to share this show with you, it's a great show. I've seen this episode before.

  Mindy Lahiri : There are different episodes of this?

• Danny Castellano : And may I say you look great!

  Mindy Lahiri : Sorry, Danny, I didn't have time to get dolled up for you because I was kind of busy freeing myself from wrongful imprisonment!

  Danny Castellano : Wrongful? My Godm do you think they'll ever catch the real drunk girl who fell into the pool?

• Danny Castellano : So who's the guy?

  Mindy Lahiri : He was perfect, Danny! He was handsome. He had a job. He was exactly seven inches taller than me, which you know is very important to me.

• Danny Castellano : Was he a man?

  Mindy Lahiri : What do you mean? Yeah, of course he was a man.

  Danny Castellano : No, I mean like, was he a man?

  Mindy Lahiri : Danny, don't just repeat it and expect me to understand what you're saying.

  Danny Castellano : Was this the kind of guy who if you heard glass breaking in the middle of the night is he gonna jump out of bed, say "stay here," and look through the house naked with a baseball bat, or is he gonna hide under the covers with you?

  Mindy Lahiri : I don't know, that's a good question.

  Danny Castellano : Is this the kind of guy who's gonna get grossed out when you give birth or is he gonna dry your forehead and tell you you look beautiful while all that disgusting stuff's coming out of you?

  Mindy Lahiri : I... I couldn't glean that from this one date we had.

  Danny Castellano : Is this the kind of guy who's not afraid to get in a fight at a Springsteen show because someone really disrespects him? He'll just put it out and he'll take him down right there, right now?

  Mindy Lahiri : Okay, you're just talking about yourself.

• Danny Castellano : You know, you actually didn't do a terrible job with that breach.

  Mindy Lahiri : I knew it! I knew it, you stalker, you were trying to steal my delivery!

  Danny Castellano : Well sure, I never know when you're gonna get wasted and spend night in jail. I gotta pounce on those opportunities. With the economy and all.

  Mindy Lahiri : Danny, that was kind of funny.

  Danny Castellano : What with the economy line?

  Mindy Lahiri : Yeah!

• Danny Castellano : Daniel Castellano. I'm the man who's going to take a person out of you. I don't take that responsibility lightly, okay?

• Mindy Lahiri : God forbid you give away the ending to Downton Abbey!

  Danny Castellano : What the hell is this show and why does everybody keep talking about it?

  Doctor : Shh!

  Danny Castellano : Why can't I talk?

• Danny Castellano : You know I used to think that sex addiction was made up by male celebrities, but now I think it's real.

  Jeremy Reed : That's not cool. Yes, yeah I love sex. I do it a lot. I do it well, but I'm not addicted to it. I'm addicted to attention.

  Mindy Lahiri : That is so interesting.

• Danny Castellano : That's not a good date outfit.

  Mindy Lahiri : What are you talking about? It's glamorous and it's awesome.

  Danny Castellano : Girls may like that stuff, but guys don't.

  Mindy Lahiri : Um, I think I know what guys like.

  Danny Castellano : Maybe. Is your date with Elton John on New Year's Eve?

  Mindy Lahiri : That's not funny. That is insensitive to gay men... and to me.

• Danny Castellano : He hates it.

  Mindy Lahiri : He didn't say that.

  Danny Castellano : Anyway, that's just my two cents, but what do I know? I'm just a wealthy, single, heterosexual male.

  Betsy Putch : Well, what do you think she should wear, Dr. Castellano? She didn't grow up in this country.

  Mindy Lahiri : Actually, I did grow up in this country, Betsy, thank you, but answer the question.

  Danny Castellano : Easy. Tight dress, shoes that won't make you complain about walking two blocks, not a lot of makeup. Look hot. Keep it simple.

• Mindy Lahiri : I guess it's not hilarious when you get arrested for assault at a Bruce Springstein concert.

  Danny Castellano : First of all it's a Springstein show not a Bruce Springstein concert. You sound ignorant. Second of all, you don't show up at a Springstein show wearing a John Cougar Mellencamp tee shirt unless you want to get punched in the face.