- Butt-Head: On the first Thanksgiving, the Indians taught the Pilgrims how to eat maize. And the Pilgrims taught the Indians how to do your mom.
- Beavis: You know, if someone, like donates their schlong to science, I could, like, become a scientist and then, like, get two schlongs. And then, could, like, be scoring with a chick and spanking my monkey at the same time.
- Butt-Head: Uh. Beavis, why would you be spanking your monkey if you're already scoring with a chick?
- Beavis: 'Cause if I'm scoring with a chick, I think my other schlong would have a boner too, you know what I'm saying?
- Butt-Head: Why not just score with two chicks?
- Beavis: Ooh, yeah. I hadn't thought about that. Yeah. Yeah, that would be good. I mean, I'd need a third schlong, you know, but then I could be scoring with two chicks and spanking my monkey. Yeah, that's a good idea. Yeah.
- Butt-Head: Beavis, why do you always need an extra schlong to be spanking your monkey with?
- Beavis: To spank my monkey! Yeah.
- Butt-Head: So if you had two schlongs and you were scoring with two chicks at the same time, that wouldn't be good enough? You still think you'd need an extra schlong?
- Beavis: Well, I mean, you gotta have at least one to spank your monkey with, and that's exactly what I have.
- Butt-Head: Uh, you're a weirdo, Beavis.