- Liz searches for a new best friend after a fight with Jenna, Jack replaces Kenneth and his fellow pages with computers, and Grizz and Dot Com help Tracy find something to live for.
- Liz is appalled when she finds out Jenna has betrayed their friendship for the sake of fame, so she goes on a mission to find a new best friend. Tracy contemplates mortality as Dotcom and Grizz scramble to show him that life is still worth living. Meanwhile Jack is humiliated when a "businessversary" gift meant for Hank is sent to the wrong floor.—NBC Publicity
- Open with Jenna showing Liz and the writers a trailer for her new movie "Martin Luther King Day." Jenna wants her to promote it on TGS, but Liz isn't interested. Jenna says Jack has already approved.
Liz meets with Jack and tells him she doesn't think Jenna going over her head should be rewarded. Jack essentially tells her to handle the situation herself. He also mentions wanting to shut down the page program.
Tracy sees that the invites for his birthday extravaganza have "Give to Charity Please. No Presents" written on them. It was a misunderstanding, but Grizz convinces him that he has everything. Tracy needs to think "about mortality."
When Liz sees Jenna using leeches on her face she invokes a pact they made when they were younger to tell the other if they got famous and weird.
Tracy seems to think that since he has everything there is no longer anything to live for.
When the paparazzi shows up at the restaurant, Jenna has Liz pretend to be her to throw them off the scent. PETA member throw red paint on Liz for being a "leech abuser," Jenna walks out the front and says "got ya," before posing for pictures. She knew the PETA folks were there and used Liz to avoid a paint bath.
Jack tells the pages he's shutting down the program. When Kenneth argues, Jack tells him their jobs can be replaced electronically. He has them escorted out.
Liz is furious at Jenna and can't remember why they are friends. They get in a huge fight. When Jenna says she's got plenty of famous friends, Liz tells her she's going to find a new best friend.
Jack wants to find Kenneth a new job, but he's not interested because of the page program being shut down. Jack shows him a new robotic tour guide called "Not Kenneth."
Liz strikes out in her first attempt at finding a friend.
A depressed Hank is waiting in Jack's office for him. He's upset because he thinks Jack missed their one-year "businessversary." It turns out that Jack's present for Hank accidentally was sent to TGS.
Jack runs to the TGS floor and finds the writers enjoying the food and drinks meant for Hank. Liz points out that making the mistake of sending the gift to the wrong floor might mean that Jack is just like them. He vows to find out who was responsible.
Jenna hangs out with her new strange collection of famous friends.
Liz strikes up a conversation with some women at a bar. They tell her to find a place where people like her hang out. With that in mind she goes to the Barnes & Noble bathroom.
Pete and Lutz bring up Jack's mistake in front of Hank. Jack is not happy to be accused of a stupid mistake.
Unfortunately for Jenna, her new friends are just as selfish as she is.
Liz meets a woman named Amy who seems exactly like her. She finds out that two people who are downers hanging out together doesn't work -- she needs Jenna.
Dot Com brings Tracy a pie from the woman who used to run the bakery he loved as a child. This makes him feel better, but he then admits his despondency was to make the guys feel bad for putting 'no presents' on his invitations.
Liz and Jenna find each other at the office. They embrace and walk off together. Jack then embraces Kenneth, telling him he was wrong to get rid of him. He needs somebody to blame his mistakes on. Tracy then embraces the presents which Grizz and Dot Com bring him.
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