Nostalgia Critic (TV Series)

Heavy Metal (2012)

Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic, Chester A. Bum, Loknar

Quotes 

• Nostalgia Critic : It's a car in space! The question is invalid!

• Diamanda Hagan : It's John Carter returning from Mars!

  Nostalgia Critic : You saw that?

  Diamanda Hagan : Someone had to.

• Diamanda Hagan : Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

  Nostalgia Critic : I think so. But how can I get Catherine Zeta-Jones in a Batman outfit?

  Diamanda Hagan : I was thinking about Insano.

  Nostalgia Critic : Oh, yeah, Insano.

  [Beat] 

  Nostalgia Critic : How can he get Catherine Zeta-Jones in a Batman outfit?

• Nostalgia Critic : Anyway, if it's one of the women on the site, I'm sure that I looking for a nice-looking piece of-

  [sees Diamanda] 

  Nostalgia Critic : FUCK! Good god, oh sweet Jesus, don't hurt me!

• Nostalgia Critic : This isn't a movie! This is a series of horny fan-fiction that somehow got a budget!

• Nostalgia Critic : Yes, may that large, muscular and strangely aerodynamic body be a lesson to you. For now, you are John Candy of Gor!

• Diamanda Hagan : But why the fuck is someone using a car in space?

  Nostalgia Critic : Okay, any questions with the word "Car" and "Space" in them quickly become invalid.

  Diamanda Hagan : But how is he steering it? Why isn't it burning up? Why didn't it survive the impact?

  Nostalgia Critic : What part of "car in space" do you not understand? Question invalid. Enjoy the awesome.

• Diamanda Hagan : She tracks the mutants down to a Western-style sci-fi bar where everyone's listening to Devo.

  [the band in the bar are playing "Through Being Cool"] 

  Nostalgia Critic : Hey, it's better than the other band they had last week.

  [Image of the cantina band from 'Star Wars' is shown and the cantina music plays] 

  Nostalgia Critic : They just kept playing the same song over and over.