Lake Noir (2013) User Reviews

Camp to tramp!

[bloodyruddy · 2/10 · 4 September 2013]

This film looked rather promising with the few 10/10 reviews left for it. After the group of kids met the locals, set up camp and learned of the Lakes dark past, I first believed that the film was inspired for a Deliverance meets Friday the 13th feel, trying to dig it.. my anticipation soon, so to speak, burnt down to ashes..

.. unfortunately, Lake Noir fails to both intrigue and entertain the campy blood thirst within you. Aside from its many kinky soft-pornesque scenes (the reason behind its lonely 2 star rating), cast and/or production made little effort as to create an interesting story and the suggested disturbia within it.

Boring plot, flat acting.. BAD!

Too boring to be depressing

[drystyx · 2/10 · 21 May 2021]

This horror story plods throughout with the most unidentifiable characters one can find.

It's very sad really. I really think the actors and actresses tried hard, and acted well, considering they had the worst script one could come up with.

It's a lake, it's horror, a monster, human monsters, humans who speak lines that are awkward and poorly written, and like I said, totally alien to anything you ever heard. It's a classic "nobody speaks like that" script.

I can promise you that you won't be able to stay awake through one sitting, so it's bits and spurts you will see. The girls are very good looking, and that's supposed to be the selling point. Well, that's what posters and photos are for. Movies and TV are for entertainment to most people.

It's too dull to be depressing, though, so it does get two stars out of ten, instead of just one. The one star rating is for the usual formula of Hollywood hatefulness and depressing young men. Not that it wouldn't be depressing if you could stay awake through it, but you won't be able to stay awake through it.

REVENGE IS A CONFESSION OF PAIN

[nogodnomasters · 5/10 · 14 May 2019]

Years after a gruesome murder and rape of a couple of bad actors, 4 young couples decide to camp at Lake Harris because no one goes there. Ol Mr. Mcavoy (Bob Olin) at the filling station gave us ominous warning ad nauseum. The trip to the lake showed us kids riding in a vehicle with music in the background. No talking as that might accidentally build character. At the lake we have four horn-dogs all wanting sex and drinking micro-brews.

An hour into the film we get to know who the killer is. This is an overly formulaic plot and without all the topless ladies would rate no stars. Ashlynn Hennly (Heather Wakehouse) is not ready for sex. Guess who lives Scooby?

F-bombs, sex, rape, nudity (Cindy Millan. Nina Natascha Tomica, Jessica Fulks- thank you.)

Don't Believe The Hyped Reviews - Pass On This One

[NinjaXCV · 1/10 · 8 May 2018]

I've seen a ton of indy horror flicks and this one ranks pretty low. You don't expect much out of most low budget films, but there is just no tension in this movie. There is seriously nothing happening for the first hour and ten minutes of this hour and a half film. No one dies, the "creature" (for lack of a better word) doesn't show up, nothing. Just a bunch of people talking about... well, nothing. It's as if you spied on a group of campers and listened in on their conversation for an hour or so. It goes nowhere. Just a bunch of talk about sex, food and booze. I can't imagine that there was an actual script because the dialog sounded made up and didn't even push the story along or help you understand anything beyond the surface of the cliched characters. There are so many plot holes and questions that make you wonder why the filmmakers never even tried to address any them. For example, why does a virgin girl clearly in her thirties need her mother's permission to go to the lake with her forty year old boyfriend? Why is this "creature" just killing random people, what's his motive? Why is everybody so cryptic and avoid just coming out and telling people why they shouldn't go to the lake, even when they're asked a direct question? And lastly, why are there multiple close up shots of the generic beers they're drinking? This was a film that might have been good if it was cut down to a 10-15 minute short. There's just not enough story or character development for a feature. A few boob shots and ten minutes of killing at the end isn't worth the hour and a half running time.

wow

[christinam-sorrentino · 1/10 · 24 May 2015]

I like indie flicks.

This is, without a doubt, the most awful movie I have ever experienced.

HOLY HELL. I am compelled to mail the actors, writers, and production crew and plead for the hour back of my life.

WOW.

The girls are pretty,and show boobs....mostly sub par boobs....but boobs nonetheless.

The acting was atrocious. Calling it acting is an insult to actors. YES i know it is low budget.

NO, that does not excuse it.

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME. Public advisory.

Don't lose time from your life watching THIS!

[patherwill · 1/10 · 24 October 2015]

Very quick review for this really bad film,Amateur acting - explains why the majority of the cast NEVER MADE another movie. Of course it's ALWAYS a great idea to come up with a storyline that requires at least half the film to be shot in the dark.That way the Producer - I'm assuming there was one - can pass off this old crap as a 'horror' movie? I was more scared when I slept next to a cemetery as a 12yr old Cub!!Some reviewers have given points because there was a flash of someones tits, and THEY weren't THAT great!Boring predictable story, bad script, absolutely terrible acting, typical American 'boys away weekend'.Less painful having teeth pulled than watching this crock.

A throwback

[jimhall-27530 · 10/10 · 28 June 2015]

Throwback to a 1970's horror film I liked the camera work and the make up FX the story was fine for a Indie low budget. It drug a bit in the middle but thought the production value was good. it's no saving private ryan that being said some of the negative reviews seemed a bit heavy handed but I am sure they have produced films and know how easy it is :P.

I hope these guys don't get discouraged by the douchebag reviews keep it up the more you do this the better you will get. Trust me I've done this for over 20 yrs I am not going to say it gets any easier, but you do learn things along the way.

it was awight

[boba-31502 · 7/10 · 10 September 2020]

Not the best and not the worst but worth a watch not anything extraordinary

so bad its good,nudity,sex, and violence a plus

[yakima5000 · 10/10 · 4 September 2013]

this film could be destined for mystery science theater 3000 there is some funny stuff though not sure it was intended lol the tent scene and the convenience store with the topless girls were my favorites like the last guy im giving it ten for the effort but I can understand why some people would give it less in my book 5 is the minimum for indie films and I have to say its good to see people supporting indie films which are a dieing breed. I really wanted more from this but like the last guy said give it a rent. me and my friends got drunk and watched it and could not stop laughing. keep it up guys the first ones a pass, next time the indie fans will want more and the horror fans will just plain come find you :0 what they did get right was the nudity , sex, and makeup and the story was good I could see what they wanted to do but low budget indies a bitch.

Boobs, Blood and a Giant Mexican Zombie!

[BigMikeG · 10/10 · 31 August 2013]

What can I say about this film? It has 5 hot chicks 3 of which show their nice milkers, the monster looks really good, Its shot in a good scary location and the hillbillies look authentic. Other than that, Its a Super low budget film that runs a little slow, no real character development and pretty simple plot but if you are watching a low budget horror film for anything more than that then you my friend haven't been watching low budget horror films. For what this film is I give it a 10 it met my expectations and it was fun to watch while I was drinking beers with my friends, but mostly the part I like best about this film is that I'm in it and I want people to buy as many copies as possible and rent it as many times so I can go out and buy stuff and for that added reason I will tell everyone I meet its a good film.

not the best but likable

[jeffabbschneider · 10/10 · 4 September 2013]

a good film that does leave me feeling a little short but a good film to sit at home and take it for what it is. I felt as if it were a low budget film I would not give give a film like this a 10 if it were a studio picture but for low budget indie it had the nudity,and awesome monster makeup I have seen studio films that did not have as good a look as this it had all the elements even if they did not work perfectly definitely worth a rental. I have done shorts and films over the years so I understand the effort that goes into just getting a film made. most critics have never made a film let alone a short so I do get a little annoyed with hypercritical people but when you make a film thats what you sign up for. hope you guys keep making films , next time I will expect more though ;)

sharknado meets jason

[jeffabbyschneider-783-791612 · 10/10 · 5 September 2013]

summer fun with nudity , gore and great monster makeup , this film is indie horror fun slow in places but

overall a good film. this film is in the vein of

sharknado in that spoofy sense it pokes fun at

itself and makes no apologies. my favorite scenes

are the steamy tent sex scene the death scenes and any scene with the monster. this film is pure

enjoyment but only for the hardcore indie fan. you can fun with a film like this but just have to go with it it was a lot of fun for me and I think most will like it

Good Indie Fun

[yakimaabby · 10/10 · 12 July 2013]

really enjoyed this film was not too scary and was low budget but fun just FYI its unrated for a reason primarily the sex, nudity and violence.It is slow in places and I thought the monster make up was good. it is just a bare bones film but worth seeing. There are some really hot actresses I like the girl who played Nina the best she had a very unique accent.

PS I read some of the critics reviews WTF its a low budget feature they probably did it on a shoe string nothing more annoying than people who wont ever make a film complaining about peoples hard work oh well I would be bitter too if I lived in my moms basement. :)

good indie film for low budget

[abbyduke7777-625-420619 · 10/10 · 6 March 2013]

I enjoyed this film and it was slow but enjoyed the characters and quality of FX makeup and image quality and production value was impressive for a low budget. I could pick it apart but clearly they did what they could with what they had.I will leave the overly critical reviews to the haters with a hyperactive sense of self importance. This is the type of movie to crack a beer kick back and relax with. I bought this film and saw there is going to be a sequel I look forward to see what these guys can do with more of a budget. There is some graphic nudity , sex and violence but that comes with the territory.

Cheers :)