- Alex and Dave can't commit to a new apartment. Jane insists on accompanying Penny when she buys a new car. Max shows Brad how to get free stuff in Chicago.
- Dressing up for Halloween as the Jackson five rather literally falls trough. The next Saturday brunch isn't as lavish as usual now unemployed Brad cannot afford it anymore, so Max shows his skinned mate fun ways how to scum free food and more, albeit it at some risk. Dave and Alex decide to consecrate their reunion by moving in together to a new place, but insecurity stirred by Jane makes them turn down suitable apartments on ludicrous grounds to real estate agent Suzanne's quietly growing, ultimately exploding despair. Jane senses that Penny plans a major purchase, as turns out a new car, and imposes her superior negotiator skills, to the Car Czar salesman's justified despair, yet also impresses the owner with a startling consequence. Penny played the car dealer as she was able to car which impressed Jane.—KGF Vissers
- The gang topped last year's Halloween, according to Penny (Casey Wilson). (Alex as Marilyn? Penny and Max as a mom and her baby? Are you sure, Penny?) But they were the Jackson Five Marionettes. Alex (Elisha Cuthbert) was Michael, Jane (Eliza Coupe) was Jackie, Penny was Tito, Max (Adam Pally) was Marlon, Brad (Damon Wayans Jr.) was Joe (thankfully, nobody was hit), and Dave (Zachary Knighton) was LaToya. And was very stupid, according to everybody else. ("SHUT UP, LATOYA!") Of course, negotiating their way out the door was another story. You would think it'd occur to somebody to link everybody up to the marionette pole after they got where they were going, but then this wouldn't be a sitcom. So they stayed home and drank synchronized beers instead. Except for Dave, who couldn't keep up. Because he was LaToya...and stupid.
Brunch at Brad and Jane's was not as extravagant as it used to be. No cage-free eggs and no more fresh-squeezed orange juice because they had to cut back. They were spending $5,000 alone on their "month" clubs. (Tea of the Month, Cigar of the Month, Beer of the Month, Soap of the Month, Month of the Month...August was March) As a result, Brad couldn't do all of the things he wanted on a typical Saturday. But Max had his back and was ready to introduce him to MaxWorld ®. (yes, Max trademarked and registered it). He was going to show Brad how to do a Saturday in Chicago without spending a dime. In the meantime, Penny was going to buy a new car, which meant Jane had to go with her so she wouldn't screw up, and Alex & Dave went apartment hunting.
BRAD & MAX
MaxWorld started at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, where Max loaded up on donuts after telling a gripping story about his father and an ice tray to the group. (MAX: Just wish this coffee was a beer.) But Brad wanted a more healthy meal, so they went to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting where they loaded up on celery and carrot sticks after telling a gripping story about his father and an ice tray to the group. (MAX: Just wish this coffee was a pizza.)But then Max needed a few condoms, so they went to a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting and grabbed a few after telling a gripping story about his father and an ice tray to the group. (MAX: Just wish this coffee was a vagina.) For clothing, a free t-shirt and hat fit the bill...if they signed up for a credit card with 38% interest. For exercise, instead of running with a trainer that really motivated Brad, Max picked a fight with a really large man and blamed it on Brad. And the motivation worked quite nicely. Finally, they got a steam by standing over a subway grate. And Brad was enjoying it...until he saw one of his ex-coworkers who thought he was homeless. Brad was depressed and unloaded all of his problems...to a kid at a birthday party the two were scamming. But then he realized his coworker was going in on a Saturday and never saw his kids. It was then he realized he wanted a job somewhere between being a bum and working 80 hours a week.
ALEX & DAVE
Alex and Dave met their realtor, Suzanne Thompson-Perez-Kline-Jensen (). Oh, sorry. That was Suzanne Thom-Sun-Perez-Kline-Jensen. ("I was married to a Korean man for about a minute.") She was determined to find them a place, and the first place was awesome. Then it came time for the paperwork on their two-year lease. (Which no realtor in Chicago would ever be dumb enough to make people sign, but roll with it.) Then that two-year commitment scared both Alex and Dave, who declared the apartment was too -y. (and you have no idea how ashamed I am to have looked up his page on IMDb) But Suzanne pressed on, through their objections of a chandelier, a 'haunted' apartment, and that one of them had wi-fi. (Apparently, Alex and Dave are old school. They've got mail and everything.) Finally Suzanne figured out their deal. And having shown them every apartment in Chicago, she was at her wit's end. She told them their love story wasn't unique. It wasn't even cute. It SUCKED! She calls them on their excuses, saying they know in their hearts they should not be living together.
SUZANNE: Now what the f--- do you want to do?!?!?!?
(They took the place.)
PENNY & JANE
They were off to shop at the Car Czar, (He knows what cars are.) Sure enough, Penny was ready to pay sticker price. But Jane stopped her. Even pitied her a bit for her obsessiveness with The Hunger Games and Harry Potter. (JANE: Let's not start bottom Frenching just yet.) Jane knew her stuff, even convincing Penny to do the "walk out" when the dealer gave his best price. And Penny did it, even though the salesman didn't give her a price and she crashed through a glass partition. They negotiated a price, and the salesman did the classic "let me get an approval from my manager" routine. And Jane correctly predicted they'd turn the air conditioning off, receive a tiny, tiny glass of water, and that Penny would sneeze. Oh, and then there's the listening devices. Unfortunately, Jane fell asleep, which gave Penny a chance to sign the contract. Even though they agreed to the price, Jane was not having it. And that was the last straw for Penny.
PENNY: Jane, stop it! Taking this deal does not mean that I'm settling or that I don't respect myself or that I can't be the heroine of a series of self-published post-apocalyptic tween novels whose name may or may not be Teegan Arrowspear! I just want to buy the car!!!
And then she crashed into the plastic that replaced the window she crashed into earlier. Oh BTW, Penny's meltdown turned out to be part of the plan. She got an even bigger discount by fooling both the salesman and Jane. Jane apologized and congratulated her. And got a visit from the Car Czar (). Who had insane respect for her as a negotiator and offered her a job. He gave her an offer, she gave him a counteroffer, and they negotiated their way to a deal. But only if the Car Czar could tell her what cars are. And she was quite happy with the answer.
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