- When one of the roommates decides to move out of the loft, the gang makes an unexpected trip to the desert where Winston faces his fear of the dark, Cece and Schmidt's relationship reaches a turning point and Jess and Nick square off with a coyote.—Fox Publicity
- Nick freaks out about moving in with Caroline and lands himself, Winston and Schmidt in the desert. They get stuck as Nick threw the key away so they call Jess, who is not much help. They decide to stay in the desert and wait till the AAA truck comes the next day. While waiting Schmidt and Cece have a fight. Jess gets the key and they drive back to Chicago; turns out Nick was not ready to move in Caroline after all as he came to live with his roommates.—sam555
- Nick gives everyone cookies to smooth over his moving in with Caroline. "You're making a huge, life-ruining mistake by moving in with a woman who turned you into an agoraphobic, turtle-faced, borderline alcoholic," Jess says.
Winston wonder what he'll do with all his extra money with Nick not using him for everything. Schmidt plans to call a plumber and just throw money at him.
Later, Schmidt asks Winston to drive him to the doctor. He's getting his bandages off. "It's time to make this horse into a unicorn," he says.
They interview potential new roommates. Neil responded to their Craiglist ad with a fax. He was in HR, but had to let himself go. Jess tells him she hopes he likes feminist rants because that's kind of her thing.
Winston and Schmidt take her into the bathroom and tell her to be normal. She can't believe they aren't fighting for Nick.
They tell Neil he's in. He hopes they're OK with songs, because he's kind of a troubadour.
Later, Nick retrieves his lamp from Winston's room. Winston freaks out a little and Nick asks if he's still afraid of the dark. "If I were afraid of the dark that would be a totally natural, adaptive, evolutionary response," he says.
Nick turns out the lights as he leaves and Winston shrieks.
Schmidt visits Cece on a set. He ended up with a cast. On the plus side, he can't get aroused anymore. She tests it, whispering "fresh, pressed linens" in his ear. It's like a swaddled baby.
A hot male model tells Cece they're ready. She tells Schmidt to hang out. The photo shoot is Cece straddling a missile with the dude behind her. Schmidt interrupts, asking if they learned nothing from Eisenhauer.
Later, Nick says goodbye, telling the group he took his fair share of rubber bands, so he doesn't want to hear about it. Jess asks Nick why he's rushing things. He says he's confident. "Are you?" she asks. "Yes," he says. "Are you?" she asks. "Yes," he says.
Nick, Schmidt and Winston get into the U-Haul and head to his new apartment -- which he blows right past, freaking out.
Cut to Nick in the desert, running in circles. "What have I done?" he screams into the canyon. Winston asks for the keys to drive him back to Caroline's. Nick screams, grabs the keys and hurls them off a cliff.
At the apartment, Neil is moving in. Cece drops by and tells Jess about Schmidt being jealous at the shoot. Schmidt calls.
Back in the desert, Winston gets worried about how much daylight is left. He plays it off saying he's worried about Schmidt. "He's a Jew in the desert, I don't want him to wander," he says.
Caroline calls for Nick. He says he freaked out. She says she knows it's a lot, but tells him to just come back and they'll deal with it. He says he loves her. He tells Winston he might have over-reacted by throwing his keys.
Jess shows up with Cece. Cece tries to explain that Gino from the photo shoot is just a guy she works with. When Jess hears Nick say everything's fine and he's moving in with Caroline, Jess throws her keys. Winston loses it, worrying about the werewolves that will eat him.
They unpack Nick's moving van. The tow truck can't come until tomorrow. Luckily, he stole a lot of beer. They hang out on his furniture and Jess finds a mix tape Nick made when he was 14. It includes "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something, then "How Bizarre" by OMC. Nick and Jess start rocking out.
Schmidt sees Cece's phone buzz with a text from Gino. "Remember your butt? Me too. Ha ha LOL."
Late at night, they're on to Crash Test Dummies "Mmmm."
Nick thinks they're trying to show him what a mistake he's making by having a good time. He goes to look for his keys in the dark.
Jess sees Schmidt bumming. He says Cece's never going to be happy with someone like him, so he'll have to "White Fang her." He thinks he has to let her go so she can be happy.
Jess finds Nick looking for his keys. They're talking when suddenly he grabs her and clamps his hand over her mouth. There's a coyote right next to them.
They hold on to each other and try to figure out what to do. Jess starts making the Road Runner "meep meep" sound.
Schmidt tells Cece they need to talk and says it's not working out. Then he shooes her away and tells her to go back to his kind. She asks if he's white fanging her. It's the only book on his Kindle. She tells him they have to trust each other.
"You slept with me, that doesn't say a lot about your taste in men," Schmidt says.
Down in the canyon, Nick and Jess are waiting for the coyote to make a move. Jess tells Nick that she wants him to be happy and if that means moving in with Caroline, he should do it. He wonders if she'll be OK and she says she will, because she met him.
Then she flips up the fur-lined hood of the coyote and says to beat it, you have to become it.
Nick tells the coyote he's not with her on this. "This her move, not mine, sir," he says. She crawls at it, making ayiyiyiy noises and howling. It runs away. They celebrate, but their cheering freaks out Winston. He runs off into the night.
The night morning, he comes back, alive. Jess takes her keys out of her pocket, drops them on the ground and "finds" them.
Back in the city, they take Nick to Caroline's. The guys punch each other goodbye man-style, until Schmidt plants a wet one on Nick. Jess settles for a "see ya."
They settle in at their homes. Winston sleeps in the dark.
Jess closes her drapes but sees Nick's moving van outside. Then she hears Nick's mix tape blaring from his room.
"Welcome back, you clown," Jess says.
They each have their own private dance party in their rooms to "You Shook Me all Night Long." Neil sits on the couch next to a big box with air holes.
Jess closes things up by doing her slow dance funky chicken.
NOTE: This was originally posted by vhavnal, DetectiveBriscoe, and Ddey65 on the main series page.
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