- Santana Lopez: [to Quinn] You know we always were two ends of the same bitch-goddess spectrum. Maybe that's why we love each other so much and slap each other.
- Finn Hudson: [to Rachel] You and I both know how this thing ends. I don't know how, or when, and I don't care where you're living or what dope you're shacked up with. You're my girlfriend. We are endgame. I know that and you know that.
- Finn Hudson: Relationships are a lot like flowers. If you find the right seed, put it in good soil, give it water and sunlight, bam. Perfect bud. And then comes winter and the flower dies, but if you tend that garden, spring will come along and that flower will bloom again.
- Sue Sylvester: Today is the day we honor St. Valentine, a man publicly beheaded for defying his government by exchanging candies and chocolates to nonsensically render the objects of our affection more fat and less attractive.
- Jake Puckerman: [to Ryder] Dude, you are like some kind of love genius. Do you spend all your time watching Lifetime?
- Ryder Lynn: [to Jake] It's a heart pendant from the jeweler at the mall. It's pretty, but it's not too expensive so she won't think you stole it.
- Jake Puckerman: I'm going to ignore the subtly racist overtones of that comment because you are my hero.
- Santana Lopez: I hate weddings. And I hate Valentine's Day. They were invented by breeders to sell cheap chocolate and false hope.