- Gossip Girl: Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. And I have the biggest news ever.
- Rachel Bilson: [enters] Serena. You're back from boarding school.
- Gossip Girl: [reading from a script] "Yeah, hi Blair, so I gotta go".
- Rachel Bilson: Come on, Bell, can't you try a little harder?
- Gossip Girl: If I'm being really honest, Rachel, I don't think you can pull off high school anymore.
- Rachel Bilson: Thanks a lot.
- Gossip Girl: Sorry.
- Rachel Bilson: [as Kristen Bell is looking at her iPod] Come on, you are always on that thing. This audition is really important to me. Plus the book is a best-seller and has a built-in movie audience. This Dan Humphrey is a really good writer.
- Gossip Girl: O.M.G. You are not going to believe who Gossip Girl really is.
- Rachel Bilson: Wait. Gossip Girl is real?
- [Kirsten Bell winks at the camera]
- Lily van der Woodsen: SPOILER: The good news is, we can do the same thing we did the last time Bart died.