Mercy, Mercy is a great example of a documentary that puts the viewer in an emotional roller-coaster that speeds up throughout the journey and suddenly stops leaving you with a strong sense of despair. Katrine Rijs Kjaer is lucky, or one could say unlucky, enough to start filming a documentary on the adoption of two Ethiopian infants (siblings aged 4 and 2) by a Danish couple. The initial objective of the filmmaker appears to be making a straight-forward documentary about the subject of adoption in general. The couple, both psychotherapists of trade, at first leave the impression to be the best possible adoptive parents for Masho and her brother. The 'new parents' form a more than welcome escape from what is destined to be a life of poverty and uncertainty with their biological parents (who are both HIV positive). Throughout the film it becomes clear however that the escape has significant drawbacks making the viewer question whether adoption is always the preferred option and if especially Masho would not be better off back home. The last scenes especially had a very big emotional impact on me and are not for the faint-hearted (and/or people with kids that age such as myself). You will find yourself screaming to your television set. 10 out of 10.
2 Reviews
A movie about an adoption going wrong
mmarianne12 September 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This text might contain Spoilers, so be aware!
The movie starts off with these two children living with their mom and dad in Ethiopia.
They are two happy kids, they get lots of love and affection from their parents, siblings and relatives.
The parents both have HIV and they're very worried about who'll take care of their children once they die. But they do love their children very much, so much that they, when approached by an adoption agency, a danish one, decide that for the best of the children, they will adopt/give away their two youngest kids to give them a better future.
Before the adoption they go down to Adis Ababa as a family and they're trying to be as careful as possible in order not to worry the kids. But there is a lot of anxiety from both the father and mother, and eventually they say that they have some demands on the new "parents" from Denmark. They want to feel part of the children's lives even after the move, and they want phone-calls and letters first often but later yearly.
So, next thing, two danish people, the happy couple who finally get to adopt some children, travel to Ethiopia, a country they apparently have no idea on what it is like... they have not been interested in learning any of the language spoken there, so their communication is done solely by an interpreter. When meeting the children they seem to have an idea that the children are "taking to them" right away, because both children give them hugs and even kisses.
They meet the birth-parents and are quite reluctant on knowing anything about them, or how their lives have been/are like. It's a short dinner and then after a few days of visits in the orphanage they remove the children from it and take them to their hotel-room.
Already then, they have a big problem. The girl, who is about 3 years old at the time, throws tantrums. She is crying out for her mother, but as the couple doesn't know Amharic they obviously doesn't understand what the girl is on about. They think that she is disobedient and they are worried that the child doesn't want to connect with them, as her new parents. They later talk to a psychologist who completely dismiss her past, with that she probably never got any attention or love from her birth- parents which is the reason to her not connecting with these two people. And this, as we could see, was quite the opposite of the truth.
The movie moves on showing the new parents as completely ignorant people, who have no clue in how to handle a child with big problems on having been split from her birth-parents.
Meanwhile, the birth-parents are getting better medications and are healthier and have been able to get back to working. They are constantly begging for information on their two children. They don't get the letters that the adoption-parents have sent to the danish adoption agency. The new parents have refused to give the birth- parents any information on where they live/address or phone-numbers to call. The birth-parents can not stop thinking about their children, who they miss and are worried about. After four long years, they finally get the letters from the first year, and they are being told about the girls disobedient nature, and that the parents never connect with her, that she acts out etc. It's very hard for the birth-parents to hear this, without being able to do anything about it. They want to take it to the authorities, but are being chastised for this by the adoption agencies and orphanage. They should not cry or long for their children anymore, is what they're told.
So, what happens? The parents in Denmark believes that there is something wrong with the girl. They decide that they can't /wont keep her, and they send her off to a children-home in Denmark. No research has been done about sending her back to her birth-parents, something which could work out maybe best for the child.
It's a hard watch. I feel so angry at these ignorant and not nasty, but childish parents. I feel so sorry for the birth-parents and the children, who are not even orphans... Why why why aren't the danish parents interested in keeping in touch with the birth-parents, why are they so ..well I'd say stupid, but maybe that's harsh, just very ignorant. Ignorant is really the word that comes in to my head over and over again when watching. How could they do this, and not know more about where the children came from..why aren't they interested? They appear extremely selfish in their decisions and in their eventual refusal to keep the "silly child". It's hard enough to be rejected once, but to be it all over again, what will become of this girl...?
I wish that the girl could finally be reunited with her real family who want her back, more than anything, and I would also like to remove the boy from this situation.
These people aren't competent to deal with the situation that they, themselves, have put themselves in.
Marianne
The movie starts off with these two children living with their mom and dad in Ethiopia.
They are two happy kids, they get lots of love and affection from their parents, siblings and relatives.
The parents both have HIV and they're very worried about who'll take care of their children once they die. But they do love their children very much, so much that they, when approached by an adoption agency, a danish one, decide that for the best of the children, they will adopt/give away their two youngest kids to give them a better future.
Before the adoption they go down to Adis Ababa as a family and they're trying to be as careful as possible in order not to worry the kids. But there is a lot of anxiety from both the father and mother, and eventually they say that they have some demands on the new "parents" from Denmark. They want to feel part of the children's lives even after the move, and they want phone-calls and letters first often but later yearly.
So, next thing, two danish people, the happy couple who finally get to adopt some children, travel to Ethiopia, a country they apparently have no idea on what it is like... they have not been interested in learning any of the language spoken there, so their communication is done solely by an interpreter. When meeting the children they seem to have an idea that the children are "taking to them" right away, because both children give them hugs and even kisses.
They meet the birth-parents and are quite reluctant on knowing anything about them, or how their lives have been/are like. It's a short dinner and then after a few days of visits in the orphanage they remove the children from it and take them to their hotel-room.
Already then, they have a big problem. The girl, who is about 3 years old at the time, throws tantrums. She is crying out for her mother, but as the couple doesn't know Amharic they obviously doesn't understand what the girl is on about. They think that she is disobedient and they are worried that the child doesn't want to connect with them, as her new parents. They later talk to a psychologist who completely dismiss her past, with that she probably never got any attention or love from her birth- parents which is the reason to her not connecting with these two people. And this, as we could see, was quite the opposite of the truth.
The movie moves on showing the new parents as completely ignorant people, who have no clue in how to handle a child with big problems on having been split from her birth-parents.
Meanwhile, the birth-parents are getting better medications and are healthier and have been able to get back to working. They are constantly begging for information on their two children. They don't get the letters that the adoption-parents have sent to the danish adoption agency. The new parents have refused to give the birth- parents any information on where they live/address or phone-numbers to call. The birth-parents can not stop thinking about their children, who they miss and are worried about. After four long years, they finally get the letters from the first year, and they are being told about the girls disobedient nature, and that the parents never connect with her, that she acts out etc. It's very hard for the birth-parents to hear this, without being able to do anything about it. They want to take it to the authorities, but are being chastised for this by the adoption agencies and orphanage. They should not cry or long for their children anymore, is what they're told.
So, what happens? The parents in Denmark believes that there is something wrong with the girl. They decide that they can't /wont keep her, and they send her off to a children-home in Denmark. No research has been done about sending her back to her birth-parents, something which could work out maybe best for the child.
It's a hard watch. I feel so angry at these ignorant and not nasty, but childish parents. I feel so sorry for the birth-parents and the children, who are not even orphans... Why why why aren't the danish parents interested in keeping in touch with the birth-parents, why are they so ..well I'd say stupid, but maybe that's harsh, just very ignorant. Ignorant is really the word that comes in to my head over and over again when watching. How could they do this, and not know more about where the children came from..why aren't they interested? They appear extremely selfish in their decisions and in their eventual refusal to keep the "silly child". It's hard enough to be rejected once, but to be it all over again, what will become of this girl...?
I wish that the girl could finally be reunited with her real family who want her back, more than anything, and I would also like to remove the boy from this situation.
These people aren't competent to deal with the situation that they, themselves, have put themselves in.
Marianne
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