Teenape Vs. The Monster Nazi Apocalypse (Video 2009) Poster

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3/10
I just had to see for myself.
Tromafreak5 January 2014
I had heard about this one for a long time. An LBP masterpiece backed by Troma that was meant to be "The ultimate LBP/Teenape film", but somehow, for some reason, ended up being a film which Seaver and Lloyd Kaufman would rather us all not see and just forget about. The only words to come to mind after reading this is WHY, WHY and WHY???

OK. So, Everything I always heard about this for the years that it wasn't released is that it didn't end up as much of an LBP film Not even a regular one, much less the ultimate one. Apparently, Uncle Lloyd had too much of a say in what went on during production, or something and it lacked the usual LBP magic. Yeah? Big deal. Kaufman is awesome, so, who cares? The film still features the long awaited return of Teenape, right? Tons of returning characters. Right? stupid, outrageous humor. Right? So, it couldn't possibly be so bad that it's not even worth releasing... Right??? Wrong!

After 4 years of nothing, Teenape Vs. The Monster Nazi Apacalypse would finally be released on a Troma DVD with 2 other movies. Which gives a good indication of how important it is to Troma. Last I heard, Seaver & Troma both didn't want it to see the light of day, but the fans finally got their wish.

After 4 years of reading about this movie and slowly getting my hopes down, I recently decided too buy the Troma triple feature which included this once lost LBP anti-masterpiece. Cuz, let's be honest. It was gonna happen sooner or later, and like I said. I just had to see for myself.

So, in this ultimate LBP disappointment, we begin in 1945 with one of the most intelligence insulting stories Seaver has ever thrown at us. So far, we're off to a good start. The Paranormal Investigation Agency (PIA), which includes LBP favorite Leo De Champ, along with Marge, Thunder Ambrosia, Deathbone, & a returning Mr. Bonejack, all on a mission to Destroy Hitler (played by Josh Suire). A successful mission, as Hitler is indeed killed. However, Hitler's right hand henchwoman retained some of his DNA, and has vowed to bring him back to life to finish what he started. 65 years later, the surviving members of the PIA must once again deal with this trouble maker. But unlike last time, they got Teenape on their side. Which may or may not be a good thing...

Well, that was just sad! It's like this big story with a much bigger budget than normal and tons of returning characters. Reading about this unfortunate movie, it really does sound like the ultimate Seaver epic. But the humor was toned WAY down. The wacky randomness was simply not there. Not even a trace of it. And it seemed as if the actors just didn't wanna be there and were merely spitting out the lines they were being paid (?) to say. I can't believe this film was written and directed by Chris Seaver. But I can now see why he wouldn't want anyone to see it. Cuz it does sound like something worth getting excited about if you're into LBP. But it would turn out to be nothing but a disappointment. This movie has no soul. Teenape isn't even an ass hole. I can imagine Troma ruined this film the same way Hollywood is gonna ruin the Toxic Avenger remake. I guess that's justice for ya.

On the introduction, Kaufman doesn't even get the damn title right. He refers to it as "Teenape Meets The Nazi Moster Holocaust", which should give you guys an indication as to what he thinks of it. Not a completely worthless movie, but if you've never seen a Chris Seaver flick, do not let this one be your first. Let it be your last, if anything. 3/10
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