Photos
Quotes
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Lorraine Lyon : Listen, slick... nothing would make me happier than to put that girl in a box marked "Return to Sender", between you and me. But she's married to my son, and he loves her, and she's the mother to my granddaughter, whom I'm fond of, so you need to put your big boy pants on and take the hit.
Roy Tillman : Bible says the wife is the property of the husband. Therefore, that makes your son a thief. If we're talking about who has the more legitimate claim.
Lorraine Lyon : You know, I've heard of you. You're one of those constitutional sheriffs.
Roy Tillman : Yes, I am. Defender of freedom and protector of the common man against the tyranny of the state and all its wicked demands.
Lorraine Lyon : Taxes?
Roy Tillman : Oh, yeah.
Lorraine Lyon : The social safety net?
Roy Tillman : Well, I'd spit, but, uh...
Lorraine Lyon : Respect for the otherly-abled?
Roy Tillman : The whole multi-cultural panoply. Billy has two mothers, et cetera, et cetera.
Lorraine Lyon : So... you want freedom with no responsibility. Son, there's only one person on Earth who gets that deal.
Roy Tillman : Mmm. The president?
Lorraine Lyon : A baby.
[chuckles]
Lorraine Lyon : You're fighting for your right to be a baby.
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Danish Graves : Hi, they said...
[sees Roy]
Danish Graves : Oh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to check, see how the powwow went with Duggar.
Roy Tillman : What is that, uh, Vivian Duggar? The banker with the woman's name? He was in my prowler once. I caught him in flagrante with a lady of the evening. But we came to an arrangement. That's what reasonable men do.
Danish Graves : Should I be... do you want me to sit in on this?
Lorraine Lyon : No. No, the, um, sheriff was just leaving.
Roy Tillman : Oh, was I?
Lorraine Lyon : Well, as I said, if you're willing to sign some papers, I could see my way clear to writing a check. I mean, between your re-election and my business dealings, I'm sure neither of us want any sordid details coming out. Is that "reasonable" enough for you?
Roy Tillman : [stands up] So, that's who you are.
Lorraine Lyon : That's who I am. And while we're talking about property rights, I'd like to be clear that, after seven years, a missing person is presumed dead. So, technically, Dorothy is my son's property now.
Roy Tillman : Nadine. Her name's Nadine.
Lorraine Lyon : Not anymore.
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Roy Tillman : Women, am I right?
Danish Graves : [hands Roy a business card] Here's my card. I'd be happy to sit down tomorrow, discuss the details of a deal.
Roy Tillman : Well, son, I'm not sure I can negotiate with a man named after a breakfast pastry.
Danish Graves : Yes, well, I am Mrs. Lyon's chief counsel, so I'm the one you talk to.
[car pulls up and Scotty gets out]
Roy Tillman : And who might you be?
Scotty : Scotty.
Roy Tillman : He's a muffin, you've got a boy's name. What's next, a monkey with a hat?
[chuckles]
Roy Tillman : Nice meeting you there, Scotty. Tell your mom Sheriff Roy says hello.
[Scotty walks away]
Roy Tillman : She looks just like her mom.
Danish Graves : Yeah. I'll expect your call.
Roy Tillman : Oh, we'll be seeing each other again. Just maybe not in the way you're expecting.
Danish Graves : What's that supposed to mean?
[pause]
Roy Tillman : You have a nice day.
