- Scott McCall: And why are you talking like he's already dead?
- Stiles: He's just missing. Missing and presumed dead because he's probably a virgin, Scott. And you know who else is a virgin? Me. I'm a virgin, okay? And you know what that means? It means that my lack of sexual experience is now literally a threat to my life. Okay, I need to have sex, like, right now. Someone needs to have sex with me, like, today. Like, someone needs to sex me right now!
- Danny Mahealani: [At the locker nest to them] All right, I'll do it.
- Stiles: What?
- Danny Mahealani: Come to my place at 9:00. Plan to stay the night. I like to cuddle.
- Stiles: Oh. That was so sweet. Are you kidding?
- Danny Mahealani: Yes, I'm kidding.
- Stiles: Okay, you know, you don't toy with a guy's emotions like that, Danny.
- Scott McCall: Seriously, dude, human sacrifices?
- Stiles: Scott, your eyes turn into yellow glow sticks, okay? Hair literally grows from your cheeks and then will immediately disappear, and if I were to stab you right now, it would just magically heal, but you're telling me that you're having trouble grasping human sacrifices?
- Stiles: Okay, was he like - Could he have been a virgin maybe? Did he look like a virgin? Was he, you know, virginal?
- Scott McCall: No, definitely not. Deaton makes me have sex with all of his clients. It's a new policy.
- Stiles: You know that there's a temple in Calcutta where they used to sacrifice a child every day? That's every day a dead baby, Lydia, every day! Hey, you want to know what today is? It's dead baby day. Oh, no, wait, that's every day, because every day is dead baby day, yay!
- Isaac Lahey: Yeah, well you being happy really isn't a big priority of mine, since you stabbed me 20 times with knives.
- Allison Argent: They were actually Chinese ring daggers.
- Dr. Deaton: If a druid went down the wrong path, the wise oak was sometimes said to have become a dark oak. There's a Gaelic word for that as well... Darach.
- Derek Hale: I think you're gonna be okay.
- Jennifer Blake: Obviously, you've never taught high school. In 20 minutes, I have to start two dozen teenagers on the Crucible, and I honestly have no idea what I'm gonna say."
- Derek Hale: Well why don't you start by telling them that it's an allegory for McCarthyism?
- Allison Argent: Maybe you should tell me what you were doing at the bank the other night.
- Ms. Morell: Maybe you should tell me what you were doing there. Looks like we have a situation here. Tell you what, give me the French word for it that's the same in English, and you can avoid lunchtime detention."
- Allison Argent: Umm...
- Ms. Morell: Impasse.
- Cora: I can't believe I got my ass thrown in a vault for three months for you. All those rumors I heard. A powerful new Alpha, one of the hales, was building a pack. Do you know how long I waited to hear something like that? Do you have any idea how it felt to find out you were alive?
- Derek Hale: I'm sorry to disappoint you.