- Alfred: Following rules is like folding a fitted sheet. Sometimes you do it. But other times, you stuff it in a drawer and say, "Close enough."
- Harley Quinn: You're a real crumpet, Alfie, you know that?
- Talia Al Ghul: Of course it worked. He'll never notice you've got your hand so far up his ass that you're playing his vocal cords like an upright bass.
- Harley Quinn: Out of my way, Alfred! I finished my chores, and now I'm off to fight crime. Step aside or I'll have to fuck you up!
- Alfred: I wish a bitch would try.
- [Sprays her with water]
- Harley Quinn: Ah! Why?