Jaren Garff: Self

Quotes 

• Dallin Earl : When I grew up, my parents named me Giovanni, but I hated that name, so I changed it to Pablo at the age of twenty-three. Then I hated Pablo, so I was like, 'Oh, who'd become Pablo?' So then I was like, 'Okay, no Pablo,' I changed my name to, um...

  Jaren Garff : Ballal. Ballal.

  Dallin Earl : Ballal? Ballal is an Indian name! Who even cares about Ballal?

  Jaren Garff : I do!

• Dallin Earl : I grew up in, uh Mexico. So I was like 'Oh yo, dude! Mexico is awesome!' But, my father, every day...

  Jaren Garff : He beat him with a toaster!

  Dallin Earl : He beat me with a toaster.

• Jaren Garff : It doesn't kill the super germs, which kill you!

  Rick Patterson : Yeah, exactly. So never use hand sanitizer. It's evil!

  Dallin Earl : I'm still doing my commercial.