Lewis Lovhaug: Linkara, The Sniper, Dr. Linksano

Quotes 

• Linkara : Today, we once again look...

  [sighs resignedly] 

  Linkara : ... at "SCI-Spy". "SCI-Spy" is an annoyingly dull series that tries to combine science fiction with James Bond-like action and intrigue without any success. The characters are bland and uninteresting, the artwork all over the place, and the story just boring. So why am I talking about this so soon after the last review of it I did? Because I thought there were only four issues! Seriously, I thought it was four issues and then I could put this stupid series behind me. But no! Six issues!

• Linkara : The six-issue storyline has been a major bane upon comic book writing, if I may say so. In the end, the problem is always whether or not the writer is good enough to do it, but the six-issue storyline has become a standard, especially in superhero comics. You ever hear the expression, "written for the trade"? That is what a six-issue storyline is. Bucking writing trends, a storyline is stretched out to accommodate half a year's worth of material when usually there's barely enough for *four* issues, much less *six!*

• Linkara : If you're a good writer, you take advantage of the extra space to have more breathing room, have some character-building or universe-building. And then you have "SCI-Spy", where extra time is used to draw naked alien women who aren't actually aliens. And when your comic is already as boring as "SCI-Spy" is, you don't want to outstay your welcome! It's only been three months since the last "SCI-Spy" review, and I've already forgotten what happened in that one! So, screw it, I'm not even gonna try recap it. I'm gonna make up my own story that will be infinitely better than this one. Timothy Dalton was cryogenically frozen and woke up in the future with the help of Captain Kirk. While the two compared notes on picking up women, a Dalek invasion fleet began swarming through an alien sector, and the Enterprise was the only ship in range to combat it. Unfortunately, the Dalek weaponry was too much for the Enterprise, but Timothy Dalton had a plan. He enlisted the help of the last Pokemon trainer on Earth, and thanks to the psychic powers of Mewtwo and the time- and space-warping powers of Dialga and Palkia, the Daleks were defeated. And then Timothy Dalton complained that alcohol in the future was too watered down, even though he already drank a weak martini. There we go, a better story than "SCI-Spy"!