Spy (2015)

Jason Statham: Rick Ford

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rick Ford : You really think you're ready for the field? I once used defibrillators on myself. I put shards of glass in my fuckin' eye. I've jumped from a high-rise building using only a raincoat as a parachute and broke both legs upon landing; I still had to pretend I was in a fucking Cirque du Soleil show! I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with *this* fuckin' arm.

  Susan Cooper : I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...

  Rick Ford : During the threat of an assassination attempt, I appeared convincingly in front of congress as Barack Obama.

  Susan Cooper : In black-face? That's not appropriate.

  Rick Ford : I watched the woman I love get tossed from a plane and hit by another plane mid-air. I drove a car off a freeway on top of a train while it was on fire. Not the car, *I* was on fire.

  Susan Cooper : Jesus, you're intense.

• Rick Ford : Nothing kills me. I'm immune to 179 different types of poison. I know because I ingested them all at once when I was deep undercover in an underground poison-ingesting crime ring.

• Susan Cooper : Where'd you get a suit?

  Rick Ford : I fucking made it, didn't I?

• Rick Ford : We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!

  Susan Cooper : Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!

  Rick Ford : Well I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do: Walk through fire, waterski blindfolded, take up piano at a late age.

• Rick Ford : You're going to ruin this mission.

  Susan Cooper : No, *you're* going to ruin this mission.

  Rick Ford : No, you are.

  Susan Cooper : No, you're going to!

  Rick Ford : You... times infinity!

• Rick Ford : I told you to send me in there instead of Fine, and you didn't. And now Fine's *dead*. I'm going the fuck in.

  Elaine Crocker : You can't. We need someone to follow De Luca without being detected... And that will hopefully take us to Rayna, but it can't be any of you.

  Rick Ford : Here's what we do... I go into the Face/Off machine, get a whole new face. I turn up, they never know it's me.

  Elaine Crocker : Do you have quarters? Because it costs 50 cents.

  Rick Ford : What, I gotta pay?

  Elaine Crocker : *No*, because it doesn't exist

  Rick Ford : Yes, it does! I heard Cress and Wright talking about it in the shitter.

  [Points to Cress and Wright as they look down, hiding there laughter] 

  Elaine Crocker : I'm sure they were pulling your leg.

  Rick Ford : You pair of fucking vaginas!

  [Cress and Wright burst out laughing] 

  Elaine Crocker : Seriously? You've got to cut that out.

• [last lines] 

  Susan Cooper : [wakes up next to Ford]  Aaaaah!

  Rick Ford : Oh, stop screaming, you loved it!

  [hugs her] 

  Susan Cooper : Ugh, God.

• Rick Ford : Cooper, is this a fucking LAKE?

• Rick Ford : [holding onto Susan's legs, the two of them dangling from the landing skid of DeLuca's helicopter]  I can't get a grip. Your pants are too slippery! You should've worn coarser pants!

  Susan Cooper : Oh, I'm sorry I didn't wear my fucking sandpaper pants!

• Susan Cooper : Get your hands off my boobs!

  Rick Ford : I'm saving you!

  Susan Cooper : You motherfucker, I'm gonna report you to HR!

• Rick Ford : Oh, fuck my ass!

• [Wakes up, sees Ford sleeping next to her and screams] 

  Rick Ford : Oh, stop screaming, you loved it.

  Susan Cooper : Oh God!

• Rick Ford : You look like a flute player in a wedding band