- Earl Weaver: It's a bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Guy, it's a freaking light.
- Earl Weaver: Guy, it's a motherfucking, cocksucking bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: It's a freaking light!
- Earl Weaver: Bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Light!
- Earl Weaver: Bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Light!
- Earl Weaver: Bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Light!
- Earl Weaver: Bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Light!
- Earl Weaver: Bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Light!
- Cast of Hairspray: It's a bomb!
- Earl Weaver: Will you shut the fuck up? You stupid, shit-eating cast of the musical Hairspray, bunch of faggot motherfuckers!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Look, seriously? It's just a light.
- Earl Weaver: No. You look, seriously. It's a fucking bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Oh, my freaking God! It's a bomb!
- Cast of Hairspray: It's a bomb!
- Ghost of Paul Revere: Get the freak out of here, dude! Hey, hey, Sox rule!
- Master Shake: Bomb, light. Whatever. It's just a hoax.
- Frylock: Shake, a hoax is a humorous or malicious deception. And this is clearly not that.
- Master Shake: I don't care! You can't make us leave!
- [Cut to town]
- Master Shake: Damn it! They made us leave.
- Johnny Unitas: Look, it's Boston. And it's a bomb.
- Cast of Hairspray: Boston is a bomb!
- Earl Weaver: You think I don't know that, you dumb cast of the musical Hairspray dicksucking motherfuckers?
- Police Officer: Oh, no! He was the bomb, not the sandwich! The sandwich was harmless all along!
- [It zooms out to a monitor watched by the Mooninites, dressed up as Muslim terrorists at a cave]
- Ignignokt: Or so you think.
- Err: Fool!
- Ignignokt: For in a mere forty eight hours, this sandwich will rot in mold and envelop the panicked city in blue spores of... sandwich mold.
- [Cut to Meatwad throwing away the sandwich]
- Err: Oh, man. Look. He just threw it away.
- Ignignokt: The sandwich?
- [Cut back to the Moonitntes]
- Err: Yeah, man! The sandwich.
- Ignignokt: Really?
- Err: Threw it in the garbage.
- Ignignokt: Damn it.
- Err: SHIT!
- Ignignokt: We must go to the store at once and stock up on deadly meats and cheeses, spreading fear and mayonnaise and... your choice of spicy or regular mustard throughout the Western world.
- Err: Yeah, let me just get my money and just go on down to the... Oh, wait!
- [Err looks out from the cave, revealing a desert]
- Err: Where the fuck are we going to find a store?
- Ignignokt: Look, we're not going to do that. That's... that's just for the video.
- Err: Oh, yeah. The video.
- [Err picks up the camera]
- Ignignokt: You were filming, Err.
- Err: Is this on?
- Ignignokt: Here, take a picture of me. I'm gonna... saw my own head off.
- [Ignignokt attempts to behead himself]
- Err: Yeah, do that. That will show them.
- Ignignokt: Yes, it will. Down on your knees, America. The rivers will run red with my blood. Digital...
- [Ignignokt puts away his saw]
- Ignignokt: This sucks, I'm not doing this.
- Master Shake: That's Paul Revere going through Bill Buckner's legs with a bowl of chowder. And he's got Plymouth Rock in his pants. And those are witches casting a spell on the cast of Cheers. And that is a lobster bib, still working on that. Oh, and that's uh Ted Kennedy riding a dolphin through Chappaquiddick.