- Harley Quinn: [after the Joker has supposedly died in an explosion] PUDDIN''!
- Batman: As this point, he probably is.
- Bruce Wayne: Come to make sure I'm leaving?
- Clark Kent: Actually, I thought we worked pretty well together. Not that I want to make it a regular event.
- Bruce Wayne: She's all yours now, if you can handle that. But you'd better be good to her; 'cause I know where you live.
- Batman: [startling Lois by crashing through a window at the Planet] Let me guess. You're the only one here.
- Harley Quinn: [spray-painting the Lexwing] Ta-da! Nothin' like a nice, big smile! All done!
- The Joker: I love to personalize all my stuff.
- [he cackles]
- Lex Luthor: Very amusing. So, how much is it going to cost me to get out of this?
- The Joker: I'm not a material guy, Lexy. No. What I want now is for you to know what it feels like to lose everything you have, everything you've ever built, like I lost everything to old Batboy.
- [the on-board radar beeps]
- The Joker: We have incoming. Bats and flyboy!
- Harley Quinn: I'll be right in.
- [blowing a kiss to the tied-up Mercy]
- Harley Quinn: Buh-bye!
- The Joker: [using one of Lex's drone robots to fight Batman] Ooh! This could be a fair fight after all. And who wants to see that?
- The Joker: Batman. It's always Batman! What you got in the way of air-to-air missiles, Lex?
- Lex Luthor: You're asking *me* for help?
- The Joker: If I go down, you go down.
- Lex Luthor: It's a red switch.
- The Joker: [looking at the control panel] Which red?
- [pressing buttons at random]
- The Joker: Ah, the heck with it!
- Superman: [after Lois learns Bruce's secret] I see she's taking it well.
- Bruce Wayne: It's ironic, you know. She likes Bruce Wayne and she likes Superman. It's the other two guys she's not crazy about.
- Superman: Too bad we can't mix and match.
- Bruce Wayne: I'm not used to being rescued. Thanks.
- Superman: I owed you one.
- Bruce Wayne: That robot tonight, it came from LexCorp. I can prove it.
- Superman: That's why I'm here. I figured you might want to help me bring Luthor in.
- Bruce Wayne: A partnership? You're joking.
- Superman: Actually, I'm having trouble finding Luthor, and I thought you might have some ideas.
- Bruce Wayne: I might. She's not gonna like this, me leaving so soon for another fight.
- Superman: Tell me about it.
- The Joker: [firing the Lexwing's on-board weapons] How's it feel, Lexy boy? Everything with your name on it's going to be rubble!
- Lois Lane: That cut on your shoulder looked pretty nasty, Bruce. I know a good doctor who...
- [seeing him suiting up]
- Lois Lane: Oh, no.
- Batman: Has to be done.
- Lois Lane: I don't suppose a stern lecture on unnecessary risk-taking is going to sway you.
- Batman: Sorry.
- Lois Lane: I didn't think so. Just be...
- [seeing he's gone]
- Lois Lane: ...careful.
- Bruce Wayne: I still wish you'd change your mind about Gotham.
- Lois Lane: I adore you, Bruce, but now there's a lot about you I don't know, and I'm not sure I want to know.
- Bruce Wayne: I understand.
- Lois Lane: [kissing his cheek] Take care of yourself.
- Lois Lane: How could you have lied to me like that?
- Bruce Wayne: Now, I never actually said I *wasn't* Batman.
- [she smacks the scratch on his back]
- Bruce Wayne: Ow!
- Lois Lane: You want to know what really galls me? I mean, beside the fact that the new man in my life is really two men? It's that I'm sitting on the hottest story of the year - Batman unmasked - and there's not a blessed thing I can do about it.
- Bruce Wayne: Then you really do love me.
- Lois Lane: I'll get some iodine for that scrape. Burning, stinging iodine.
- Harley Quinn: [getting put in the back of a paddy truck for her return to Arkham] I want a lawyer! I want a doctor! I want a cheese sandwich!
- Mercy Graves: [watching on TV] Now, that's funny.
- [laughing, then holding her injured arm in pain]
- Mercy Graves: Ow!
- Batman: Where's Luthor?
- Mercy Graves: Joker took him in the Lexwing. He said he'd make him lose everything he ever built.
- Superman: Luthor's built half of Metropolis.
- [a large drone smashes through the ceiling]
- Superman: Go after the Joker. I shouldn't be long.
- The Joker: Look at all the toys! Santa's been good to you, Lex.
- Lex Luthor: Joker, we've got serious problems.
- The Joker: [gasping as he sees the Lexwing] Ooh! A flying wing, 20 times bigger than Batman's! And knowing you, a hundred times as lethal.
- Lex Luthor: JOKER! Did you bring the rest of the kryptonite?
- Harley Quinn: [indicating her satchel] Right here, chrome dome. What's the plan?
- Mercy Graves: [cocking her gun] Payback.
- Harley Quinn: [Joker cackles] What's so funny?
- The Joker: Don't you get it, Harl? We're being set up to take the fall.
- Harley Quinn: He can't do that!
- Lex Luthor: Oh, no? How does this sound? When I heard that one of my robots had been commandeered to kill Batman, I personally came here to investigate. And much to my surprise, I found you two.
- Harley Quinn: It'll be your word against puddin's. I-I mean, Mr. J's.
- The Joker: Somehow, pooh, I don't think we're gonna get the chance to say much.
- Harley Quinn: You... you mean he's gonna kill us?
- Lex Luthor: No.
- [glancing at Mercy]
- Lex Luthor: She is. I abhor violence.
- [as he opens the satchel, items similar to the snake-nut can practical joke pop out, and Joker knocks Mercy down with a yo-yo]
- Harley Quinn: [picking up Mercy's dropped automatic rifle] Now, this is funny, Mr. J. Except we're never gonna collect our billion bucks now.
- The Joker: [eyeing the Lexwing] True, but I see a delightful consolation prize.
- Lex Luthor: He survived. He lasted long enough for Superman to save him.
- Mercy Graves: Then they have the robot.
- Lex Luthor: I know.
- Mercy Graves: But, Lex, they'll trace it back to you.
- Lex Luthor: I know! Call the clown. I need one last meeting.