- Eric André: Excuse me. M-ma'am? Can you help me please for a second? I'm sorry. Miss?
- Woman: Uh-huh?
- Eric André: Hi. Have you seen my dog?
- Woman: Uh-huh.
- Eric André: Describe him to me!
- [Takes off his glasses to reveal no eyes]
- Eric André: Describe him to me!
- Woman: Aah!
- [bleep]
- Eric André: [Pukes] How old is this coffee? I can't digest this shit. I'm lactose-intolerant. Did you get the abortion?
- [Pukes again]
- Eric André: You didn't get the abortion? What am I paying you for?
- Eric André: Do you have a friendly car or one that talks?
- Harry: I don't trust something like that.
- Eric André: I'm ready to buy right now.
- Harry: Open that button.
- Eric André: I will not buy if you want me to get naked. I don't feel like that's approriate.
- Harry: I'm not saying naked.
- Eric André: You want to see my genitals? That's not okay.
- Harry: I don't trust like that. Open that button.
- Eric André: Do you have any skittles?