Silicon Valley (TV Series)

Articles of Incorporation (2014)

Martin Starr: Bertram Gilfoyle

Quotes 

• Richard : We love the name Pied Piper. It's a classic fairy tale.

  Jared : Well, I looked it up. It's about a predatory flautist who murders children in a cave.

  Gilfoyle : It has all that going for it, Richard, and I still hate it.

• Dinesh : Hey, Jared, you know who else is Canadian? Justin Bieber, the Hitler of music.

  Gilfoyle : Do you have a problem with me being Canadian?

  Dinesh : I do, actually. Do you have any idea how long it took me to become a citizen?

  Gilfoyle : Did it take you a long time? I'm glad I didn't do it then.

  Dinesh : Typical lazy immigrant. These people think they can just walk into this country

  Gilfoyle : did just walk into this country. My car broke down on the ambassador bridge. It took me an extra 15 minutes to get across the border. Major hassle.

  Jared : ...You know, Hitler actually played the bassoon. So, technically, Hitler was the Hitler of music.

• Richard : What they have is like Pied Piper, but not as good. People will see that.

  Dinesh : Not if they get to market before us. Inferior products win out all the time.

  Gilfoyle : Like Jesus, over Satan.

  Dinesh : I was going to say VHS over Beta.

• Dinesh : You're Canadian?

  Gilfoyle : Your borders are merely a construct. I prefer to think of myself as a citizen of the world.

• Jared : [Trying to come up with a new company name]  All right, what about Smaller, spelled "S-M-L-L-R"? You know, because we make things smaller, and this would be like a smaller version of the word "smaller".

  Gilfoyle : It looks like "Smeller".

  Jared : Ok. What if we spell it "S-M-L-R"? Because that's an even smaller version of the word smaller.

  Dinesh : Then it looks like "Smiler".

  Gilfoyle : We're not gonna kick the shit out of "Nucleus" with "Smiler.

  Erlich Bachman : Where's Richard? Why isn't he in here for this?

  Dinesh : I think he was out back, wishing he'd taken the ten million dollars.

  Gilfoyle : No, I just saw him in his room, wishing he had taken the ten million dollars.