- Lt. Abbie Mills: [about his old clothes] If you're going to keep wearing that thing, I have two words for you. Dry cleaning.
- Ichabod Crane: Pick two words I'd understand.
- Ichabod Crane: [while looking through the clothes] Why much you and your sister insist on keeping stockpiles of such strange apparel?
- Jenny Mills: Says the man who wore powdered wigs and stockings.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: [about the magical lantern] I'm going to steal it.
- Jenny Mills: I guess those social workers were right. I really am a bad influence.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: [as she watches him on a ladder] Crane, gonna need a hand?
- Ichabod Crane: The irony of being that your generation is purportedly two inches taller than mine... on average.
- Jenny Mills: The Weavers are End-of-Days fanatics.
- Ichabod Crane: Meaning they believe in the coming Armageddon.