- Narrator: Nothing good happens after 2 a.m., but there's an exception to every rule. That exception was you, Luke.
- Barney Stinson: You guys can't still see where Marshall slapped me, can you?
- Ted Mosby: Your face looks like a "don't walk" signal... A palm reader could tell Marshall's future by studying your face.
- Robin Scherbatsky: The phrase "talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening" doesn't work for you.
- Barney Stinson: A simple "yes" would have sufficed.
- Ted Mosby: Wait, that's your job? You sign sketchy legally-binding documents that could implicate you for god-knows-what?
- Barney Stinson: Best job ever, right?
- Barney Stinson: I've had sex in Ted's bed fourteen times.
- Ted Mosby: I asked you if you wore shoulder pads.