- Bouncer: You're making people uncomfortable.
- Josh Greenberg: Oh, I'm sorry.
- Bouncer: I'm not the one you should apologize to.
- Mike: [Mike is on Tinder] No, no, no, fat, fat, ugly, fat. No, yes.
- Josh Greenberg: Does that thing actually work?
- Mike: Sex partner found! Hey where's Walcott and Cermack?
- Josh Greenberg: It's like eight blocks away.
- Mike: I can usually get it within five. Your place is remote man!
- Liz: [Liz has just set Josh up on a blind date] I talked you up OK. She's so well read. This is like a woman of substance.
- Josh Greenberg: Oh good. That's what's most important. And you know, all Mike wanted to know was "What's she look like"?
- Liz: That guy is disgusting.
- Josh Greenberg: He's so gross. But this girl tonight, what does she look like?
- Liz: [Josh isn't interested in the troll Liz has set him up with] Joshua, want to have a little look at yourself moment?
- Josh Greenberg: No, no, this is...
- Liz: Do you go to the gym?
- Josh Greenberg: Nope?
- Liz: Do you have a job?
- Josh Greenberg: I, uh, I'm a temp.
- Liz: OK, well how does that sound to a lady?
- Josh Greenberg: If she's a temp she'll like it.