- Ron Swanson: I attended Prom with Susan Hoffler. Picked her up in my truck, we slow danced to a Merle Haggard song, and then I left early to go to my shift at the quarry. I was twelve years old. Never went again. Felt like I had outgrown it.
- Leslie Knope: Will you go to prom with me?
- Ben Wyatt: Well I thought you'd never ask - because we're nearing 40.
- Ron Swanson: I have tolerated Leslie's pro-government ways because her annoying kindness and generosity sneakily made me like her as a person. But I draw the line at corrupting America's youth.