- Mike Baxter: [Talking to Vanessa about Brutus Buckeye, the Ohio State mascot] Let's face it, your mascot is basically an acorn wearing a cardigan.
- Mike Baxter: Hold up there, Proud Mary - what class are you transferring out of?
- Eve Baxter: Geometry, with Mr. Hardin.
- Vanessa Baxter: Isn't that the teacher the kids call Hard Ass?
- Eve Baxter: I don't know... Kids can be cruel.