Mom (TV Series)

Toilet Wine and the Earl of Sandwich (2014)

Anna Faris: Christy Plunkett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Christy : [Through closed door]  Violet, we're leaving.

  Violet : [Through closed door]  Good.

• Alvin : Where're you headed?

  Christy : Believe it or not, I'm taking somebody to prison.

  Alvin : Oh wow. Gonna miss you Bonnie.

• Christy : How do you drink in prison anyway?

  Marjorie : Toilet wine.

  Regina : What's that?

  Marjorie : Oranges, raisins, sugar, ketchup and a sock full of moldy bread, which marinates in the toilet for a week. it does the job, and you can sell the excess for cigarettes.

• Regina : Do you know what the worst part of being in prison will be?

  Bonnie : Being in prison?

  Regina : No, that I won't get to see my son grow up.

  Bonnie : Oh... I'm gonna stop talking now.

  Marjorie : Don't say it if you don't mean it.

  Christy : When did you last see your son?

  Regina : Before my trial.

  Marjorie : But that was months ago!

  Regina : My ex-husband won't let me see him, not that I blame him. He just turned 10. He's going to be a teenager by the time I get out.

  Christy : Where's your ex live?

  Regina : In Stockton, about a hundred miles back.

  Christy : [pause]  Hell with it.

  [turns the car around] 

  Christy : We're going to Stockton!

  Regina : But I'll be late to turn myself in.

  Christy : What the hell are they gonna do, Regina? Throw you in jail?

• Regina : I'm going to say my goodbyes now, and I'll slap the first one who starts crying. Christy... if you hadn't talked me out of bailing on that first AA meeting, I'd probably be dead right now. Thank you.

  Christy : [hugs her and cries]  I'm so sorry... please don't slap me.

• Wes : Who are you?

  Christy : [about Bonnie]  She's my mother.

  Bonnie : [about Marjorie]  And she's *my* mother.

• Regina : Do you ever think about reasons to start drinking again?

  Christy : Like a zombie apocalypse? Yeah.

  Marjorie : You're joking.

  Christy : No, I've got a whole list of reasons I'd start drinking again: zombie apocalypse, my kids are stolen by gypsies, I have a stroke and forget how to masturbate.

  Bonnie : What if something happened to me?

  Christy : I'd get through it.

• Christy : What're you doing out here?

  Alvin : I needed some air, and Violet took that opportunity to lock me out.

  Christy : Why?

  Alvin : She's mad at me because I accidentally told Roscoe about her plans to put the baby up for adoption.

  Bonnie : [shocked]  Violet's giving up the baby?

  Alvin : Oh my God, you didn't know either?

  Bonnie : [grins]  I'm just messing with you.

• Bonnie : [crying after they take Regina to prison]  I can't believe this.

  Christy : [crying]  I know, I always thought it'd be *you* I took to prison!

• Christy : And why you picturing him

  [Gabriel] 

  Christy : at all?

  Marjorie : I'm a lonely old woman with a little bit of cancer and a lot of cats. Give me this.