- Bree Davenport: Okay, heads up. Stay away from Principal Perry.
- Leo Dooley: Trust me. That's the first thing I tell myself every morning when I wake up.
- Adam Davenport: Really? First thing I tell myself is shaving cream only LOOKS like food.
- Principal Perry: What're you lookin' at?
- Leo Dooley: You keep asking me that question and I'm still not sure I can give you an honest answer.
- Principal Perry: If I wanted to be stared at all day, I'd still be a catalogue model for Burt's Chainsaws.
- Donald Davenport: Can you believe it? Chase has a girl over. I'd to shake her hand to make sure she wasn't a hologram.
- Adam Davenport: Hey, Sabrina. I just wanna apologize to both of you for my inappropriate yet hilarious comments earlier. Actually glad you two are hitting it off.
- Sabrina: Thanks.
- Adam Davenport: Who knows? You might even be Chase's first kiss.
- Sabrina: [as Chase stands horrified] First kiss?
- Adam Davenport: Oh, yeah. I mean, he's never even talked to a girl before.
- Chase Davenport: That's not true! I've had a girlfriend! She was... pretty! She was really really really pretty!
- Adam Davenport: I don't remember that. What was her name again?
- Chase Davenport: Um... Canada.
- Adam Davenport: Canada?
- Chase Davenport: She was... she was FROM Canada.
- Adam Davenport: Canada from Canada - yikes.
- Adam Davenport: [to Sabrina] Let's get to know me. I'm sensitive, caring, sensitive... What else do you like about Chase?
- Principal Perry: I'm not done with you yet.
- Donald Davenport: Okay, but for the record, I always liked you. It's the kids that hate your guts.
- Principal Perry: Did you two REALLY think I would brutally dispose of someone and hide the evidence?
- Bree Davenport: Yes.
- Leo Dooley: Absolutely.
- Principal Perry: [moved to tears] Wow. You really GET me.
- Chase Davenport: You ruined my social life forever.
- Adam Davenport: Chase, to be fair, you kind of have to have a social life for me to ruin.