"Family Guy" Secondhand Spoke (TV Episode 2014) - Seth MacFarlane as Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Costello, Audience Member, Dr. Elmer Hartman, God, Kid #2, Sherlock Holmes

Peter Griffin : Well, I finally quit smoking and I'm ready to go back to normal!

Lois Griffin : Peter, that's not how it works. The damage you've done is irreversible.

Brian Griffin : Yeah, Lois is right. As bad as you look, the damage you've done to your heart and your lungs is no doubt exponentially worse.

Peter Griffin : What? Well, try cutting to the outside of the house over some music. That usually works.

[Scene cuts away to the outside of house and then back inside with Peter still looking bad]

Peter Griffin : Fuck!
Stewie Griffin : [When Brian was texting while driving] You know, that was a stroller, not a speed bump.
Lois Griffin : Dr. Hartman, we're here for you to help Peter quit smoking.

Dr. Hartman : Mrs. Griffin, I can't do that. It's an addiction. I can't even get my son to quit being gay.
Stewie Griffin : [to Chris] You know, the way those kids were picking on you today in school. You really got to stand up for yourself.

Chris Griffin : Stewie, it's not so easy. What would you say if I said, "Hey there, shorty"?

Stewie Griffin : I'd say, "Have another doughnut, you albino gorilla."

Chris Griffin : Oh, yeah? Well, you have a sister as well.

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Stewie Griffin, Brian Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Costello, Audience Member, Dr. Elmer Hartman, God, Kid #2, Sherlock Holmes