- Peter Griffin: Well, I finally quit smoking and I'm ready to go back to normal!
- Lois Griffin: Peter, that's not how it works. The damage you've done is irreversible.
- Brian Griffin: Yeah, Lois is right. As bad as you look, the damage you've done to your heart and your lungs is no doubt exponentially worse.
- Peter Griffin: What? Well, try cutting to the outside of the house over some music. That usually works.
- [Scene cuts away to the outside of house and then back inside with Peter still looking bad]
- Peter Griffin: Fuck!
- Stewie Griffin: [When Brian was texting while driving] You know, that was a stroller, not a speed bump.
- Lois Griffin: Dr. Hartman, we're here for you to help Peter quit smoking.
- Dr. Hartman: Mrs. Griffin, I can't do that. It's an addiction. I can't even get my son to quit being gay.
- Stewie Griffin: [to Chris] You know, the way those kids were picking on you today in school. You really got to stand up for yourself.
- Chris Griffin: Stewie, it's not so easy. What would you say if I said, "Hey there, shorty"?
- Stewie Griffin: I'd say, "Have another doughnut, you albino gorilla."
- Chris Griffin: Oh, yeah? Well, you have a sister as well.